I cannot believe I'm writing this... or that it's even an issue

Ok…

I’ve been quiet on FB regarding the idiocracy in this crazy country, world, planet, solar system. I don’t like to be quiet about such things, but I decided a while back to lay a bit low on some of this stuff. There is just way too much anger, hatred, negativity and ugliness (and way too many Oxford commas ;)) out there to contribute to it. I’ve contributed my fair share, but this pot stirs itself quite well without my help.

 

So it’s ironic I dabble into this topic: Tranny’s in the military. (Get over my non-PC terminology)

 

Oompa-Loompa-in-Chief Trump has banned them from the military. Why?

I think it’s probably fairly obvious where I stand on transsexualism. (To clear any confusion, keep reading.) I have a good friend who has a child dealing with this and we just don’t see eye-to-eye. That’s ok. Doesn’t mean we are mortal enemies. (Take note, world.) We just don’t really discuss the issue. We have more beliefs in common than separate, so we are grown-ups and just respect each other anyway.

On the face of this, I really must say though… I’m not sure BANNING them from the military is the right answer. As twisted as it is… America is THEIR country too. I’ve not served, so my perspective here is limited. But, the battlefield and the bullets flying don’t care where you want to pee. If a bullet finds meat, it doesn’t care whether you used to wrestle boys or girls.

To me, they have every right to serve our country. I’m not about to belittle their service because they have identity issues. Most ‘normal’ people don’t serve. If you make the decision to do so, you are to be appreciated. Period.

Now, do I have an issue with the optics of it? Sure. I’m flawed and honest enough to admit that. There is something silly to me about an American soldier named Jenny, but born Jim, being on the battlefield facing our enemies. But, they have the right to die a hero for you and me as much as anyone. Or they should. And when they fire a bullet, it’ll kill the enemy just like anyone else’s. Being a hero should be gender-agnostic.

 I’m so sick of this whole issue. Completely. This whole climate and the fact it’s even an issue is an argument against its validity as an issue in the first place, quite honestly.

Translated: You can’t open Pandora’s Box and not expect to deal with its contents.

You don’t have to agree with the validity of transsexualism to appreciate their sacrifice and willingness, as Americans, to die so you can enjoy your first-world problems.

Now…

I’m not done. J

 All this said, I also believe in military morale. And this is where my lack of service really shows, because I’m ignorant on a literal ‘bunker mentality’. I don’t want soldiers out there uncomfortable with the person next to them. (That goes both ways). I think much of that discomfort is probably unwarranted, but if it’s there, then it matters. When bullets are flying, you’re a meat bag out there. If you’re worrying why Jenny, er Jim, er whoever, is out there too, I’m guessing you won’t be worrying about much of anything for long.

If the discomfort is rooted in a testosterone-filled mindset, I’d say grow up. I’m open to a legit reason behind opposition though. Educate me.

Why a tranny (get over it) would WANT to be out there facing not only bullets but abuse from their own mates is beyond me.  But, if it hurts morale, it’s not worth it. Find a solution to put them in other positions or with troops who don’t care.

I don’t know where the balance between troop morale and allowing this lies, but it shouldn’t rest on a hill of macho pride. All I believe, is if bullets are flying past me, I don’t care who’s out there with me helping me… I’m just appreciative that they are.

I’ve got a lot of military friends. And I have an idea where they probably fall on this. And I don’t blame them as long as they can articulate why. What don’t I know? What am I not considering here? The only thing I can think of is them trying to get military dollars to pay for their ‘transition’… which I oppose in every way.

Trust me… I’m a little surprised by my own stance here. Lol… I do not support any kind of LGBT agenda. I will look for ways to oppose it when it makes sense. Doesn’t mean I hate them. It means I’m opposed to making special rules for people who think they deserve them. I oppose special rules FOR people… and I oppose special rules AGAINST people. (If you want to discuss this in detail, I’ll be happy to show my consistency here.) Keeping tranny’s out of the military is the first thing I’d consider a true attack on a group of people. Their right to defend our country is actually being taken away. That’s a dangerous precedent.

 Just as the slippery slope can go fast one direction (special LGBT privileges), it can also go the other (attacking and oppressing.) I’m opposed to both. (See? Consistency.)

I’m probably going to be lauded by more liberal friends than I feel comfortable with (giggle), but I legitimately think this is a pointless topic. This is no sanctity of marriage argument. No spiritual angle here to point Biblically and rest against. It’s not a safety issue, either, really. It’s just nonsense.

I’m NOT on board with opening up bathrooms to ‘wherever you want to go.’ I’m not for giving special rights to people just because they claim victimhood and parade for it. Not one little bit.

But, if you love this country enough to fight for it?

Thank you.

Proverbs 3 - Be Wise

So, as I'm going through Proverbs during the month of May, I won't post a full blown blog about every chapter, but some may warrant more than just a simple Facebook post.

Proverbs Chapter 3 is one. I may be a bit biased, but Proverbs is my favorite book in the the Bible because it's the most day-to-day useful in terms of practical application. Even non-believers can appreciate much of the insight this book offers, even if they can't see it's true wisdom (see chapter one for an explanation there. :) )

Instead of more rambling, I'll just dig in:

3:3-4
Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, And so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.

That first part is a hammer.
This is a messed up day and age where we're all out to get ours and if, in the process of daily life, we can extend an olive branch, the best of us might... as long as it doesn't inconvenience us. Life has a way of wrenching the general 'good' out of people. There is a blessing to naivete, but that inherently makes us vulnerable to those who would take advantage. So, how do we proceed? How do we stay gentle and merciful while also not getting walked on?

The quickest example of this is driving in traffic. Remember when you first got your license and it really wasn't a big deal if someone cut you off. Or snuck in front of you. Giving the right of way to someone who didn't have it really wasn't a big deal. You'll get where your going soon enough. Life was good. (If this DOESN'T apply to you, then just work with me here...)

Fast forward 25 years and you see someone scooching up the shoulder hoping to merge into your lane when you've patiently (?) sat there, waiting your turn. How quickly does that horn, finger, voice and/or blood pressure (no Oxford comma!) raise now?

Or you're at the mall at Christmas while you and another car eyeball the same parking spot. "Not this time, punk. This one's MINE." So you punch it with a grimace on your face and twisted pride in your heart that you got it! "Sucka!!!"

Life changes us over time. We become less merciful because we're living the rat race and dadgummit, that parking lot is the cheese!

Where we used to think of others if not first, then at least equally, has morphed into a less violent version of the Hunger Games.

Mercy isn't even part of the equation.

Which brings me to my next point here. To show mercy infers that we hold some kind of power to give it. So, by that inference, we hold more power than we realize. It's not always easy. Heck, if it were, I doubt it would be included as something to hold onto. But, while this verse can be dissected many ways, the simplest, most practical I can see is this: Be nice.

If it's in your power to show mercy, show it. Don't get walked on, but sometimes the strongest most immovable people can also be the most merciful.

3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path.

One of my favorite Bible verses. I won't write so much about this one except this one point:
I try to look at situations in life through a God-view. "In all your ways" is a loaded statement. When I don't have an answer to how to view something in this life, I use what I feel is God's point of view as the litmus test. Maybe I'm wrong some. Maybe I'm right some. But, I do what I can to acknowledge God's sovereignty and control, even when I don't understand it.

That way? I'm trusting that while I don't know it all, He is directing and opening up a path for me, nonetheless.

3:7-8
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.

I doubt this is referencing physical health, although I guess in the right instance, it could. But, this one hits me square in the nose.

"Do not be wise in your own eyes."
Have you caught the name of my blog? Is the irony there setting in? Accidental Genius?

While the origins of my blog name may be its own blog topic at some point, I've been known to be a bit haughty. Trust me, it's more tears of a clown, but if you don't really know me, you wouldn't know this. While there is a deeper meaning to this, I think this verse, on the surface, directs us to humility. Meekness is not weakness. But, again, this world we live in tries to wring all that out of us like a wash rag after doing the dishes.

On a deeper level, I think this tells us that wisdom doesn't come from ourselves, so don't get too big for your britches, mister!

3:9-10
Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the firstfruits of all your increase; so your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.

Better not let that heretic Joel Osteen see this... oh wait, it's obvious he has and has twisted it like a soft pretzel. This verse does not lay the groundwork for those 'Prosperity Gospel' preachers.

When you honor someone, you humbly acknowledge them and lift them up. God wants our best, not our leftovers. He doesn't want the unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bag. He wants the buttered top. Not because he needs it, but if we're willing to give Him that, then our honoring Him actually means something. And He'll bless us for that. (see Malachi 3:10... the only verse I'm aware of in the entire Bible where God challenges us to test Him.)

I'll admit... this one is HARRRRRRD for me to do. I'm not good at it. I give enough of my money away. Or time. Sometimes I just want to relax after a long days work and not 'do'. But, EVERY time I've given of myself or have been faithful financially, I've been blessed. Sometimes I just get the feel-goods because I did what's right. Sometimes I've been blessed in tangible ways. But, I also trust Matthew 6:19-21 in that not all our blessings will be earthly. Or I say I trust in it. I at least know I SHOULD, therefore I know it's true... it's just a matter of taking the next step and actually DOING it.

3:11-12
Short version: God loves you. Part of that love means He will rebuke and correct us. It hurts, but be thankful because it's validation of His love. Once He stops 'correcting you', be very scared. It may just mean He's leaving you to your own devices. And that's never good.

3:13-18
This passage basically says wisdom is better than riches and those who recognize this will experience happiness and blessing.

What I find interesting here is the comparison to silver, gold, rubies and financial gain. Wisdom is better than these things. Why? How? Who wouldn't rather be a rich fool than a wise idiot? At least you can have fun and worry about things other than how bills are going to be paid, right?!

Well, in the famous words of Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation... it's the gift that keeps on giving!

Silver, gold, rubies, money... they all have finite value. Once expended, their value is not only gone... but transferred to someone else to enjoy. So it's a double sting in that you no longer have it and someone else does!

Wisdom? It's yours. It's a blessing that never ends. And... you can (and should) share it. It multiplies in value instead of recedes.

Don't be so narrow-minded and tunnel-focused to overlook the real value Godly wisdom brings.

3:22-23
Basically: If you let God's wisdom direct you, life will be a simpler, safer, less drama-filled journey because you haven't stepped where God hasn't directed you. Don't mistake simple, safe or drama-free as absolutes. At all.

But, so often we put ourselves in stupid situations because we are acting unwisely.

Do you keep finding yourself dating the same kind of scumbag? Choose more wisely.
Do you constantly find yourself in arguments with your friend(s)? Choose more wisely.
Do you root for the New York Giants, Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Redskins? Choose more wisely. :)

Bottom line is if we allow wisdom to be a driving force in our decision-making and relationship building, our odds of stepping through that minefield will be greatly enhanced.

3:24-26
Somewhat of an extension of the prior verses, wisdom offers a sense of peace to our decision-making process. If you've acted wisely, regardless of the situation (or even outcome), you can sleep easy knowing you made the right choice. It may not always work out perfectly. Wisdom isn't some cosmic override button to the difficulties of life. But, even logically speaking, if you 'play it smart', more times than not, you'll come out on top. And knowing that just makes for an easier night of sleep each night because you did what's right. The results are beyond your control.

Perfect example...
Poker. Poker is a game of probably and statistics. At its core, it's a mathematical game of how to act given the cards in front of you. Every hand can be a winner. Every hand can be a loser. But it depends on how the board plays out.

If you were playing poker heads up against another person and you were dealt pocket aces (AA) while your opponent was dealt pocket 9s, you would have an 81.31% chance to win.

This means you have an 18.69% chance to lose. Those are good odds.

But you CAN still lose. And anyone who has played poker will tell you... getting your aces cracked feels like it happens a heck of a lot more often than 18.69%!

It's a somewhat flawed analogy because wisdom isn't bound to mathematical probability. But the point remains... if you operate your life wisely, you're more likely to see good fortune more times than those who don't.

3:27-30
Be good to each other. Don't be a douche. He's your ace-in-the-hole. He WILL bless you for treating others well.

Just don't start assigning the method of how those blessings should be received. Know that God has your back. :)

3:34-35
Sure He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble. The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the legacy of fools.

Oh man, I could write about this one all day.

I'll give you the abridged version: God loves humility. He will bless humility. If you're looking out for number-1, be sure you're number-2. (Stop giggling...)

Don't be the fool who thinks they have it all figured out. Who knows all the answers. Who equates insight with wisdom. Who thinks meekness is weakness. Who prefers logic over faith. Who seeks personal glory over Godly glory. Who rejects wisdom in lieu of personal glory.

If you do... at the end of the day, your legacy will be shame. Maybe in this world. Maybe in the next. Maybe both. And the scary part is, if you're this one, you won't believe it's coming anyway.

Don't be that guy. Life is hard enough without making it harder on ourselves.

It's unwise.

Why I Like Tom Brady

Ever have someone question your sanity? Or why you like something?

Heck… every question that within yourself?

Like… why do you like salt and pepper on apples? Or fries dipped in honey? Or pizza and ranch dressing? Or Tom Brady?

If you’ve followed me or know me or heard about me or are aware that I exist, then you are familiar with my love for the accomplishments of Tom Brady, the Greatest and Most Accomplished QB of All Time.

And if you’re like most people not living in the Boston area, you may wonder why and how I came to admire such a man who left his wife for supermodel Gisele Bundchen, been ‘busted’ for ‘cheating’ and generally gives other Pretty Boys a bad name because he’s so, well… pretty.

Well… let me clue you in one something… I don’t admire the MAN. I admire the accomplishments. Unlike most people, I can and am able to, separate the person from the achievement.

I’m not going to get into the whole cheating thing because you’ll be reading all day if I do. Let’s just cap that conversation with the premise that I don’t really care for reasons that sound like rationalization, but really aren’t to anyone who doesn’t like him. That’s a tired argument and irrelevant to my point, quite honestly.

Why do I like Tom Brady so much? Blame Emmitt Smith. (No, really… and I’ll get to it later…)

Same reason Bill Laimbeer is my favorite basketball player while growing up.
Same reason why Bill Romanowski is one of my favorite linebackers of all time.
Not really the same reason I like Barry Bonds so much, but we’ll touch on him later.

Effort. Heart. Accomplishment. Leadership. The ability to rise above a situation and perform when others fold under pressure. Notice I didn’t say talent.

Tom Brady wasn’t a top-rated QB coming out of high school. He was basically a 4-star recruit who had to send tapes around the country to garner much interest from college recruiters. He could have gone to many places but landed at Michigan, where he wasn’t even the highest ranked QB in his Michigan draft class (Drew Henson.)

He split time with Henson there and was eventually a 6th round dart throw of a pick by the New England Patriots. He wasn’t supposed to be more than depth behind established Drew Bledsoe. The Patriots had (and still have) a philosophy to draft QBs, develop them and trade them off for something of more value later. Brady was just another cog in that machine.
Until he got his chance.

I’ll spare you the accolades, but it’s fair to say, regardless of personal opinion, Brady’s accomplishments ranks him as one of the top QBs in the history of the NFL . And ‘one of the top’ leaves lots of room to insert anyone you like, but I can argue with no difficulty, that he’s the greatest ever. But, if you like someone else, knock yourself out.

Enough of a history lesson.

My point to all that? He isn’t an overly talented athlete. Heck, most in high school thought he’d be playing in the World Series, not Super Bowls. Colleges recruit talent. The NFL drafts talent.
Talent doesn’t measure effort, heart or discipline.

Just as Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer from the Detroit Pistons and Bill Romanowski from a number of different teams showed, lack of talent can create a chip on your shoulder. A ‘watch me succeed because you didn’t think I would’ mentality is easy to love.  They were mean and nasty and played hard because that’s the only way they knew to succeed.

I admire that. Always have.

Heck, I was told by an ex-girlfriend’s mother I’d never amount to anything. Still stings. Not because I value her opinion, but because I don’t like be being underestimated.

When I see effort win, I admire it. Talent is supposed to succeed. But, any coach will tell you, give me effort over talent any day.

Couple this with the accomplishments he’s earned, largely when it counts the most, and I don’t apologize for like who I like.

But there’s a catch… and here’s where Emmitt Smith comes in.

I’m also a jaded sports fan.

I met Emmitt right after he was drafted at Sound Warehouse (yes, I’m old) in Irving. He wasn’t a very friendly fellow. Granted, I was just another kid star struck at running into him. But, hey, this was my experience. He blew me off.

Not a crime, but just kinda douchey.

But, of course, I always rooted for him and would take him over Barry Sanders or any other RB during his time b/c of his effort and toughness. He wasn’t the most talented guy, but he was the engine of the Cowboy dominance in the ‘90s because he had more heart than any player of his era.
Skip ahead to a few years after he retired and I start hearing stories from authors and writers about how difficult he was to deal with. They’re experience validated my own. He even wanted $10k for a 15 min interview for a book praising how dominant the Cowboys were in the ‘90s. If there’s one thing I despise, it’s a prima donna. (I know those hating Tom Brady would call him that, but I guess I just don’t see him as one… or I’d despise him too.)

I’ve always felt you are how you treat people. Your status or position is irrelevant to me and if you shove it in my face, I’m not going to respect you for it. And worse, I’m going to despise you. As people, no one is better than another.

So, the more and more I read about how Emmitt treated people, the more disappointed I became that my favorite Cowboy was basically a douchebag. He was beloved by fans, but only for what he did on the field. And most fans equated his on-field success with personal character. I experienced different and read more and more about how my experience really seemed to be who the guy is… not what he portrayed himself to be.

That whole process jaded me. I stopped caring (generally) what a person does in their off-field life. I enjoyed watching their accomplishments and ability. I created a clean separation of the two. Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t enjoy following sports anymore.

Now, that’s not an absolute. Some players cross over, good and bad to me. I’ll even admit to some hypocrisy and inconsistency. There are always exceptions to the rule.

Enter Barry Bonds.

By every account, he’s a jerk. A talented, better-than-you-and-he-knows-it jerk who was known to seclude himself from his teammates, berate the media, fans when confronted and was the poster boy for steroids (even though it was during a time it wasn’t illegal.)

Thank goodness I’m not a girl. I think I’d be a sucker for the bad boy.

But, Barry is the exception to my rule. I’ve got no defense.

Back to Tom Brady... (don’t roll your eyes)

Don’t confuse admiration for his accomplishments for admiration for HIM. I’ll argue and defend him on certain things but certainly can’t on others. But, just like I don’t want to hear Hollywood stars spout off to me about their political agenda, I don’t want more from my athlete than a good performance. Dance, monkey, dance.

The other stuff? I’ve tuned it out unless it’s so egregious, I can’t. Good people make mistakes. Bad people treat others poorly. That’s ultimately my litmus test. It’s not a mistake to treat people poorly. It’s a character flaw. Does Brady treat people poorly? I have no idea. I do know that I am pretty in-tune with the sports world and I’ve not heard anything to suggest he does. Maybe he hides it well. Good for him if so.

Now, everyone’s favorite QB Peyton Manning? I’ve HEARD first-hand him big-time people on the radio when he didn’t think he was on air. His condescension showed me he’s a character and brand he protects. He tried to ruin a trainer’s career in college because she accused him of sexual assault. (Details are a bit lame, as he basically tea-bagged her as a joke.) His daddy jumped in on the attack. That story never really went anywhere and I honestly don’t know how much credence I even give it. But, I do know it’s out there.

My point in bringing Manning up is he and Brady will always be compared to each other because they faced off so much and were two of the greatest QBs in history. And generally… if you like one, you’re supposed to hate the other. I like Peyton. A lot. He’s the best field general ever at QB. But, I’m just not buying into a public persona. I buy into what I experience. Peyton lost me once I heard that radio interview. I do love his commercials though.

So this circles us back to now…
I appreciate greatness. I’ll sports-argue accomplishments all day long and if you want to shut down the argument because you think Brady is a cheater or a douche or whatever, that’s your right and another discussion as far as I’m concerned. Maybe he IS a bad guy. Maybe I’m fooled. Wouldn’t be the first time. But, that also doesn’t diminish his accomplishments.

But, because I have largely separated an athlete from who they are as a person, I see effort, heart, discipline, accomplishment and leadership.

I admire those things. I make no apologies for that.

I’ve learned the one bias stronger than liking someone is despising them.  So, those who despise Brady never will come around. Doesn’t bother me any. But to criticize my admiration is just ignorance why I do in the first place.

He’s just the best QB of all time and I recognize it.

Lights, Camera, ...

“New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain

That about sums up the newness and hope the New Year brings… and the inevitable erosion of said hope once general motivation recedes into the norm.

In other words: Good intentions mean nothing.
In other words: All talk, no action.
In other words: Nothing changes unless your actions change.

As I look back on 2016, I cringe. Not because Carrie Fisher died (although I did tear up). Not because Prince, George Michael, Muhammad Ali or Arnold Palmer died. All sad. Many more names joined the Final Destination Brigade in 2016. I lost my job in 2016 (again). Had friends lose parents. Had other general difficulties, but that’s just the types of things life brings. 2016 certainly wasn’t a banner year for me, but there was lots of good in it too. And I think it’s important to recognize the blessings. Bad things happen but not all things that happen are bad.

I cringe when looking back because I realize how little I accomplished. How much I talked but how little I produced. Other than winning a fantasy football league, I don’t have a lot to show for 2016. I guess I completed a few video games too. So, there’s that. High five?

I didn’t make (m)any new friends. I didn’t impact (m)any lives. I was the hamster on the wheel not going anywhere. Not because certain bad things happened to me, but because I didn’t MAKE good things happen FOR me.

I’m pretty ashamed of myself, actually. But, that’s how life tends to go for most people. We have good hopes and intentions but little to back any of that up. We think good thoughts into existence to make ourselves feel better as if it will accomplish anything. I can think I want to get healthy, but sucking in my stomach a little bit doesn’t make me any thinner. It’s a form of self-delusion that things aren’t as bad as you know they are deep down. The struggle is real. You can lie to yourself so much you forget the truth. And in some ways, I’ve fooled myself. Not because I meant to, but because I’ve let my words supersede my action.

I can’t tell you, nor would I want to, all the things I wish I could/would change. But, whatever is on that long list, all begins with a word: ACTION.

I’ve never been a real ‘resolution’ guy. Val and I would name 10 goals each year and measure progress against them. Newsflash: It didn’t work after a while. When your yearly goals all look the same as the previous three or four years? Yeah… that’s not working. That’s just good intentions.

So, as Val and I talked a little about what 2017 will bring, she mentioned that one of her friends is doing something very different. Maybe it’s all semantics, but this is an evolution of good intentions.

We are picking a single word to focus 2017 on. One word to center ourselves for the next year. One word to wrap our intentions around to focus them instead of floating along, knowing nothing will change.

My word? Well, you probably guessed it…

Action.

I can’t say what I will accomplish this year. So many things are beyond my control.  I want to get certain things paid off. I want to read 10 books. I want to write 52 blogs (at least one a week) this year. I want lots of things, but everything is dependent upon things I just have no control over. What I CAN control is the action and effort I put forth.

I talk a good game, but when the results are measured, I’m ashamed to say I lack in that regard. At least to the standards I should meet. And the primary reason? I’m lazy. I don’t put (m)any plans into action. I talk about things as if that’s how they get done.

I can’t effectively teach my kid that’s not how life works if that’s how I live my life.

I considered many words to focus 2017 on. And they’d be equally impactful. And it doesn’t mean they can’t make their way into my focus (or future years), but what makes the most sense for me now is action.

It’s time to make things happen and not just talk about them. Feel free to ask me how I’m doing.

What word can you wrap your 2017 around?

http://oneword365.com/#

Thanks for checking in...

I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ll get right to the point. I won’t dance around what I’m trying to say, as I know it gets irritating to read something and wonder when you’ll get to what the writer is getting at. That’s why I’m not going to do that here.

(giggle)

Ok, now that I got my joke out of the way, here we go.

You never know who has your back. You never fully realize how many people are thinking of you… pulling for you… wishing the best for you… even actively looking out for you.

In this strangely connected world where unless someone ‘likes’ your post you just assume they either (a) didn’t see it or (b) don’t care, it’s refreshing to know that really isn’t the case. At all.

Most of you are aware by now I was laid off (again) in mid-July. I won’t get into that day too much, other than to just say it sucks to go through all this job hunting again. I thought I fixed that three years ago, so to have to sing this song again brought out a lot of anger, frustration and confusion. Not saying some of it still isn’t there, but time has a way of providing perspective.

If you’ve never been laid off, the range of emotions you go through is wide. But, one of the most prevalent is a kick to your self-confidence and self-worth. Your inner-voice tells you a lot of things, but very few of it is good.

What I found so refreshing was how many people showed their initial support. I almost feel like I’m having to post too many of these, but each time, I’m shown an amazing amount of love and support.

Thank you. Sincerely. Genuinely. Thank you.

Some of you immediately offered to help in any way you could. There was literally more than I could realistically handle. It took me a long time to go through all the options people offered up.

But over time, some of you kept checking in on me. When my spirits were down, that encouragement really helped. A lot. And it still does.

What was really humbling (and prompted me thinking to write this) was someone in particular reaching out to me. I’m not sure in all our FB friend-time I’d ever heard from her. For all I knew I was just one of the people who she’d either blocked because I’m obnoxious or I just didn’t show up on her feed.

But, she reached out to me with some options to check into. And I thought, “Wow. I had no idea she even knew my situation…” It literally brought me to tears. Here I am throwing a pity party and feeling worthless yet there are people out there looking out for me I really don’t know about.

That got me to thinking who is out there praying for me I don’t know about either.

And what’s strange, is this is someone I wouldn’t consider to have a close relationship with. For no real reason other than she has her life and I have mine. We are always certainly friendly when our paths cross, but she cared enough for me to try to help.

If she’s reading this, she’ll know exactly who she is. I’m not going to point her out because it’s not pertinent to my point. I’ll address her directly. But, if you ARE reading this… thank you! 

When I’m feeling worthless, down, depressed, sad, etc… the first thought in my mind is how few people really care. But, we have NO CLUE how many people really do. None. And it’s an amazing thought to know people you hardly talk to have your back.

Then I got to thinking… how often do notice people’s posts without ‘liking’ or reaching out? Quite often, actually. I read everything I see and say more prayers than I let known for people. That’s not patting myself on the back as much as it is a reminder that if I’m doing that, then I know other people are doing that for me.

(Now comes part 2 where I shift to a deeper level…)

I struggle with depression. Have for YEARS, even when I didn’t realize it. If you do too, then you know that even when things are going well in your life, it can be a major hindrance. It goes beyond just being sad. And stress is a MAJOR trigger. Good stress, even.

So, discouragement is easy to come by. Encouragement isn’t. Reach out to people you know are struggling just to let them know you have their back. You’re thinking of them. Praying for them. Regardless of who they are. You may feel a bit strange, especially if you really only have them on your friends-list to stalk their pictures or laugh at how obnoxious they are from time to time. But, do it anyway.

And don’t think your words will be lost in a sea of other well-wishers. Trust me… that is NEVER the case. If for no other reason than it helps reinforce in their minds they are loved and thought of by people who aren’t in their normal circle. We expect those close to us to encourage us. But when someone we don’t talk to often joins the party, is makes it exponentially sweeter.

And it helps provide the most important of human needs… hope.

I could write a novel about depression and its impact, but maybe another time. What is most important here and now is knowing that regardless of your situation… people have your back and pull for you even when you are oblivious to it. And the key on the other side is make others sure to know when you DO think about them.

There’s enough ugly in this world. Bring a little joy. Go the extra mile.

Someone did for me and it blew me away. 

(PS... someone literally just hollered at me, offering to help and encouragement right before I hit publish on this. Amazing.)

Cam Is as Cam Does

I have an affinity for people I think are misunderstood. I know the feeling.

Because of that, I used to like Cam Newton. I really did. Quite a bit actually. But now that I understand him... now that he showed us who he really is... who he STILL is... he's not worth liking.

He's great at football. So flippin' what. Lots of people are.

I liked Cam Newton up until January 26th when he went from misunderstood guy to race-dividing whiny quarterback who says America can't handle him because he's black.

I didn't care about his being black until he brought it up. Once you bring up something as a dividing factor we as a nation are trying to get past, then all you're doing is perpetuating the problem. He wasn't asked about being black. He shoehorned a wedge into the narrative where it didn't exist for me previously. For ME, once you play that card, you can't put it back in the deck.

He is the epitome of a generation that believes the lies they've been told. He's grown up in a society where he's been shown and told any slight is automatically assumed born from race. He's not entitled to our admiration. He's not entitled to special treatment and his transgressions being overlooked. He's part of the Victim Generation. I have little use for that. And even less respect.

I love to watch him play. I think he lacks maturity, but part of that is what made him fun. He's not stodgy. He's not 'establishment'. That's his allure. But Cam has to understand that the criticism he got before the Super Bowl isn't because (generally) he's black... It's because he's anti-establishment in an established world!

In his mind, it can't be because some people don't care for his style. It can't be because he's brash... and by definition, being brash means you rub some the wrong way. You can't embrace your brashness and then get upset when some people don't like it. That's like saying you like a Big Mac because it's fattening and then get mad at McDonald's because it contains fat. That's a coin you can't call both heads and tails on.

He's an idiot. He's no thug. He's no punk. He's an idiot. Is idiot a race-neutral enough term?

He sees himself above reproach. He sees himself above scrutiny because he's great. That's nothing new. He's been that way since college, if not before!

He's a black quarterback... but you know what? Sue me... but that's not special anymore. And if it IS special, then we've made little progress as a society. I know some may actually believe that, but that's a different blog topic and much longer discussion. Doug Williams was special. There have been plenty of GOOD black quarterbacks: Steve McNair, Randall Cunningham, Warren Moon, Russell Wilson, Donovan McNabb. Even lesser good ones like Mike Vick, Colin Kaepernick, and Quincy Carter. (Giggle)

The newness has worn off. At least for me it has. And it's my blog, so these are my thoughts from my perspective. But, I tend to have a pretty good understanding of human nature. I obviously can't see things from Cam's perspective, but he fabricated a race-issue where there was none to compensate for the fact that some people don't care for his style. His skin is so thin, he can't keep it real unless he feels disrespected in the process. It just makes no sense.

Before you say I'm stupid because I don't think race plays into anything, just hold on. Of course some people don't like him because he's black. But, wouldn't it be fair then to say some people DO like him just because he IS? Those two extremes cancel each other out and I'm looking at the general populace... not the ones who either can't be won or can't be lost.

If January 26th was where he showed the world who he was... his post-Super Bowl presser is where he showed us who is still is. It's all fun and games when you can dab your way into the Super Bowl. But, get your butt handed to you in front of 100 million people and you can't take the embarrassment of the egg on your face? His immaturity is what people have railed against and his immaturity in walking out of that presser is what confirmed their thoughts.

There is no shame in losing a Super Bowl if you handle it with class. His whole identity is based on 'keeping it real'... being who he is be damned. So if he's all about keeping it real... and he embarrasses himself by walking out and being nonresponsive in his answers, then his classlessness IS real because that's what he's all about, right? 'Keeping it real, yo' is a dangerous game because you tell people your actions define who and what you are. His actions sure did that. By his own crafted identity, he showed us who he really is.

Last year, Russell Wilson (a black QB we all apparently CAN handle) lost the chance to repeat in the Super Bowl by throwing a game-losing interception... on a play he knew shouldn't have been called. Yet he took the heat. He absorbed the blame. He didn't deflect. He didn't point fingers. He took the questions. He took the pain. He personifies class and is, I think, in victory and defeat, the BEST example in the NFL of who to emulate. Beyond Peyton. Beyond my boy Brady. Beyond anyone.

Yes, I know the context of how the Super Bowl press conference was set up. Yes, I know he had to endure Chris Harris loudly talking about Denver's game plan to force Cam to throw. Yes, if I was Cam, I'd be livid having to sit through that. I understand his anger. So... are we at a point where anger and disrespect is an excuse for acting a fool? You may be in that boat, but I sure as heck am not. We all make mistakes. But they're only forgivable if you acknowledge the sin.

No Cam... you don't get to dab and smile and absorb the adulation when you win but run away when you lose. Your immaturity cost you that game.

Denver's defense DOMINATED that game, yet Carolina still had a chance to win (or go ahead) very late in the game. It was winnable. Maybe a more mature QB would have. Maybe not. But a more mature QB certainly would have presented himself with some class after it.

Tom Brady has lost two Super Bowls. In 2012, he was so angry and upset he made the media wait 45 minutes just so he could cool down. Kinda douchey, yes. But he faced the music and knew himself well enough to cool down before doing so.

Peyton Manning has lost two Super Bowls and handled both with class.

I've also seen the story where Cam went up to Peyton after the game and Manning said Newton was humble and gracious in the loss. Irrelevant if he's not going to carry it through to the deadly media. (Don't get me started on the whole blaming the media thing...) I guess it'd be worse if he spit in Peyton's face, but even this dichotomy of different responses speaks to his immaturity and refusal to face the same people who's adulation he had garnered.

Cam has gone from someone I'd love to see win to someone I root against. All in about two weeks. I know I'm irrelevant. But I can also guarantee I'm not a lone wolf.

I got jaded a long time ago on personal adulation of athletes. I like very few as people. I like certain personalities (one used to be Cam's.) I have grown into respecting the journey and rooting for their helmet. I root for their ability and for things I see that maybe few others do. I appreciate greatness.

I don't appreciate entitlement. No one is above reproach.

But thanks Cam for keeping it real because I know now who you really are and there is no denying it.

He's young enough to change. I hope he does. But until I see him lose with class and grace, he won't convince me he has.

Why I Love Star Wars

In case you haven’t heard, a small little indie film called Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out this weekend. For anyone who’s ever met me, it probably didn’t take long to figure out I kinda like Star Wars. Just a little.

And with the release of The Force Awakens, I’ve actually been very introspective as to why. Why do I love Star Wars so much?

Star Trek is cool, but it’s not Star Wars.

I really fell in love with The Lord of the Rings franchise (oddly, I’d nev

er heard of it until the movies were announced). But it’s not Star Wars.

Harry Potter is an amazing universe. But it’s not Star Wars.

And I’ve been pondering why I still act like an 8 yr old kid with this stuff. The older I get, the deeper I get into it. Maybe I’m just immature. Some would certainly agree with that hypothesis. But, it goes deeper than that. I’m ‘immature’ because I think there’s a real value in embracing living life with as much innocence as possible. It’s an ugly world. I choose to enjoy it through ‘immature’ eyes because I have to deal with it in ‘adult’ ways. I don’t apologize for that. I’m certainly no fool. I think part of living with that perspective allows me to see the best in people. To give people more credit than maybe they often deserve.

To live life with A New Hope each day.

A worldview like mine probably lends itself to a certain naiveté, but I think it has more to do with hope in humanity than truly being naïve. I’m not dumb. I’m not really immature. I just refuse to let the world I live stay ugly.

That’s a strange direction in a blog about Star Wars, but I’m thought-streaming here. Get over it.

It’s interesting to me how Star Wars has helped shape my worldview in that regard. I’m not getting into the whole argument regarding any religious/faith-based conflicts. My love for Star Wars doesn’t compare (or compete) with my faith in Christ.

But, I keep asking myself, “Why do I love Star Wars so much?”

Star Wars, at its core, is a story of hope. It’s about overcoming oppressive odds to find the best in yourself to help others. It can certainly mean so much more, but there’s an innocence in what Star Wars represents. The characters and lore can certainly be examined deeper and more philosophically. I’d love to go through that exercise sometime.

But, people who don’t get it just don’t think about it the way I do. And that’s ok… but it’s interesting to think about the impact it has had on my life.

Before The Force Awakens, the total runtime for the Star Wars movies is 797 minutes. How can 797 minutes mean so much to someone? Well, for one, I grew up with the movies. I saw each one in the theater. And everything is magical when you’re a kid. One of my earliest memories is of getting in trouble (or crying about SOMETHING) and my dad taking me to the Chateau in Irving to see Star Wars. I swear it felt like I saw it in the theater 20 times. It was probably two.

I then remember our very first cable box and staying up until midnight watching HBO. No idea what was on, but I saw a promo for Star Wars and thought it’d be cool to see that again. I didn’t really know how HBO was structured, but I remember being really tired and about to go to bed. I decided to see what was coming on next and the Lucasfilm logo came on and I thought that looked familiar. Then the 20^th Century Fox banner came on… Then…

Then the music. The title scroll. Sleep would wait. I can’t tell you how excited I was that I was lucky enough to catch the very first showing of Star Wars on TV ever. So cool then. So cool to think about now.

But, all in all, 797 minutes is an insignificant about of time. But, think about it… I grew up with Star Wars. That meant I had a lot of the toys and action figures. So, I spent untold hours playing in that universe.

I remember being at Twin Oaks daycare and the girl I liked (yes, I was a Mac Daddy long before kindergarten) let me play with her Luke doll while she played with Princess Leia. All the other boys were jealous… but I WAS LUKE and they weren’t!!! (I guess that was a poetic precursor to me always being ‘like a brother’ to most girls I happen to like…lol) He even had his own rope and blaster. So cool. J

I remember going to Northpark Mall with my dad to see The Empire Strikes Back. That’s where I found out Darth Vader is Luke’s father!!! Whaaaaaat?!? Walking back to the truck, my brain was just in stunned disbelief. How could this be? What did it all mean??

I remember my now-gone cousin Denise taking me to Golden Triangle Mall to see Return of the Jedi. There were even Revenge of the Jedi posters. I freakin’ remember those!!! The only toy I remember my grandmother buying me while we were out and about? A die-cast X-Wing fighter.

The movies and universe blew me away. The memories and nostalgia still do.

I even enjoyed the Prequels because I loved getting more context into the alternate universe I so badly wanted to be real. Although, for the record, I did cringe at Jar Jar even then.

I can’t fully define what it is about Star Wars than captured me. I really wish I could. Lord knows I’ve been trying to come up with really smart-sounding rationale to make myself feel good.

There are really cool characters. Really funny ones. Really minor ones that have long backstories. Really major ones than have mysterious origins. It has royalty. Rebels. Good guys. Bad guys. Flawed guys who become good. Good guys who suffered failure even though they had good intentions. Pretty girls. Ugly aliens. Weird robots. And everything served a purpose. That’s the genius of it all. We know it’s fake… but it all is so deep and fleshed out, it feels like it could be real in a galaxy far, far away.

But that’s still not it. Where I think the power in Star Wars lies is in the connection to the most powerful human convention. Something mysterious. Something so versatile it means different things to different people. Something even more nebulous than love.

Star Wars represents hope.

Hope against all odds. Hope that we have something inside us that makes us more than we think we are. Hope that even when we face temptation, we can still choose good. Hope that while power is powerful, honor and doing right is more so. And hope that even though there are bad people in this world, maybe there is still good in them. (Jesus sure thinks so). Hope that there could be someone out there you don’t know that can impact your world in such a way you will never forget. Hope that lightsabers could really exist at some point in my lifetime. J

It’s fitting the original is called A New Hope. The older we get, the more we need hope.

Hope isn’t immature. Hope is powerful. Hope is innocent. Hope is pure. Hope is how I live my life.

The Force may be the overriding ‘power’ in the Star Wars universe that connects all living things. But, I think The Force is really Hope. Hope connects us to ourselves. To each other. To what could be.

So, with that… May the Force be with you.