Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Top 10 Disney World Rides

Ok... Once a week I'll be adding a Top 10 list here. Everyone loves lists... and everyone loves Disney. What a perfect way to start. Below are rides only... not shows. That may be another time. :)

10. Mad Tea Party (Magic Kingdom) - Nothing says fun like spinning a cup-seat so fast you start pondering the spray pattern should you actually throw up.

9. Magic Carpets of Aladdin (Magic Kingdom) - The ride itself isn't that great, but it's situated right next to where Princess Jasmine makes her appearances. And THAT is a good thing.

8. Big Thunder Mountain (Magic Kingdom) - This ride is long for a mini-coaster. Cool scenery. Not so scary kids freak out, but enough to give them a roller-coaster thrill. Secret tip: Ride it at night. It's really cool.

7. Kilimanjaro Safaris (Animal Kingdom) - Not only is it cool to see all the animals in their 'somewhat' natural habitat, but the ride is long... and they have so many vehicles running, that any wait really isn't that long.

6. Tomorrowland People Mover (Magic Kingdom) - You've been at the park all day. Feet hurt. You're tired. Thirsty. The kid is getting a bit cranky. But, you've all decided to close the park down. You've seen the parade on Main Street. Now... while everyone finds a spot for the second parade, you should head over to Tomorrowland and ride the People Mover. You get to see a good portion of the park lit up at night... and... you get to rest your feet. It's a great break when you need a 10 minute recharge to finish the night.

5. Dinosaur (Animal Kingdom) - For my money, this is the most intense ride at Disney. Sensory overload man. It's loud. It jostles you. Surprises come out from directions you wouldn't expect. (I guess that's why it's a surprise.) But, all this equals fun. And I mean come on... it has dinosaurs!

4. Haunted Mansion (Magic Kingdom) - Disney does a great job creating a fun, creepy atmosphere. Nothing like crowding into the circular room, only to hear little kids crying when the creepy voice starts talking. Ah, such a sweet sound. The ride itself is fun and surprisingly cheery, then the end... you get a really cool surprise. If you've never ridden it, just prepare for some laughs.

3. Star Tours (Hollywood Studios) - Dude, it's Star Wars.

2. Everest Expedition (Animal Kingdom) - The Big Daddy of the rides at Disney. Intense. Fast. Scary. And the ultimate gift shop grab when you're done. Kids will be crying. Moms will be mad at dads for making their kid ride it. Dads will be laughing at crying kids and angry moms. :) But, Disney is about making memories. This one will give you some.

1. It's a Small World (Magic Kingdom) - Yes. My favorite ride at Disney. You sit in a boat and go around the world listening to creepy little dolls singing It's a Small World After All in about 20 different languages. But, come on... it's such a happy ride! You can't leave that place without feeling a little good inside. And that tune sticks in your head the rest of the day. "It's a small world after all... It's a small world after all... It's a small world after all... It's a small, small world...." *repeat*

So there you go.
I had to make some serious cuts. If your favorite isn't on here, well... tough. It's my blog. Go get your own! :)

Monday, April 2, 2012

Taco Bell Craziness

Is there another chain, company, entity that throws more crap against the wall to see if it sticks than Taco Bell?

Don't get me wrong... they all but pioneered the $0.99 menu and helped feed me through high school and my 7 years of college. (Shut up) But, holy cow...

Volcano Tacos
Big Border Tacos
Chalupas (which are NOT the same as the chalupas we ate in Jr. High)
Tostadas (which ARE the chalupas we ate in Jr. High)
Double Decker Tacos
Taco Supreme - Basically, add sour cream and it's a supreme. (Sure am glad that doesn't with pizza)
Taco Bell Grande
Ranchero Taco
Crunch, Soft, Fresco, Club Tacos
7-Layer Burritos
Grilled Burritos
Grilled Stuft Burritos
Fiesta Burritos
Burrito Supreme (yep, add sour cream)
Chili-Cheese Burrito (which used to be called a Chilito... which I'd order with sour cream)
Nachos
Nachos Bell Grande
Zesty Nachos
Triple-Layer Nachos
Lava Sauce
Hot Sauce
Mild Sauce
Fiery Sauce
Crunchwrap
Gordita
Enchrito

I mean... this isn't Mexican food. Want proof? They failed miserably in Mexico when trying to expand. Then, they re-surfaced, shopping their food as 'American food'...

I think my dream job would be to have a say in what gets green-lit and what doesn't. Then... I want to be part of the naming process.

"You are stuffing a taco inside a refried-bean spread flour tortilla? Yes, I approve. Now.... call it... a Chalupa. That'll confuse them enough to try it."

I mean, really... how many of you have gone to Taco Bell just to TRY whatever crazy new concoction they came up with. Don't lie either. The Taco Bell Chihuahua knows.

Speaking of... ever wonder why they stopped using that ad campaign? Everyone loved it right? "Yo quiero Taco Bell!"

Apparently, sales went down while brand recognition went up. Maybe people thought half the beef used was really big-eared Chihuahua.

Remember the movie Demolition Man? Remember how Taco Bell was the lone remaining restaurant in the 'fast-food wars'? Surely, it had to be because they had so many different menu items no one had ever heard of, the competition had no idea which to attack, much less how.

About the only thing I can think of that throws more darts hoping they stick are Doritos. Which, ironically... makes the Dorito Taco the poster child of Crazy.

So... next time you make a run for the border, remember... those across the border are laughing... wondering what it is exactly you are eating...