Employment Wish List

Here I am, sitting in Jacksonville, Florida in my hotel room ending the second Monday of my new job. Virginia Slims ain't got nuthin' on me. I've come a long way baby. Instead of boring you with what my role is (I'm still trying to fully understand), I'll start this two part blog and give you my unrealistic wishlist in a bad economy after I was laid off back in February: 1) Change careers - I've been laid off from group benefits underwriting three times. I wanted out of that industry. Changing careers is hard enough. Doing it in a bad economy is ridiculously hard. I didn't mind staying in the insurance industry, although I sure wouldn't mind getting OUT of it either. I remember reading multiple articles about dying industries, and benefits underwriting was in both. Not good for job prospects. 2) Work from home - At MetLife, I worked really hard and excelled from the moment I got there. Within that, I was afforded some perks that I'd never had before. I was assigned to some high profile projects and flourished most of the time I was there. The best perk? Working from home. Not only did I save lots on gas, there's lot of freedom in waking up and booting up the laptop, never getting out of my Disney shirt and underwear all day. (How's THAT visual??) So, going into my next job, I really, REALLY wanted to work from home. Mainly because of the gas thing. I spent nearly $5k on gas/tolls in a year working at my previous job. Plus the lost time in traffic. Once I had the taste of working from home, it killed me each day to make that drive... much less wear actual work clothes. 3) More Money - Let's face it. We are not altruistic workers. We don't even work for companies. We work for our families and ourselves. Companies benefit too, so they pay us. But, unless you own the company... your loyalty lies to your family. Therefore, we all want to make as much as we can. Because I'm human, I wanted more. 4) No more production - This is closely related to my first point, but part of underwriting, unfortunately, is that it's a production-based job. How many quotes did you do? What was your turn-around-time? What's your closing ratio? It became a job where I was just a human conveyor belt. Instead of producing widgets and cogs, I was producing quotes. The reason I've loved the project work I've been on is because it allowed me to exit that reality and bring something to the table no one else could: myself. I wanted that again. I wanted to feel important beyond how many cogs could I pump out a day. 5) No relocation - In the back of my mind, I feared the possibility of having to move to attain any one of these goals. During my job search, I saw plenty of jobs... but just couldn't get a bite in the area. It had me wondering if I'd have to consider moving... Austin? Houston? Out of state? I didn't want to, but I prepared myself for the potential. So... what did I end up with? I am no longer underwriting, but still in insurance. Working from home for more money in a job that allows me the freedom to create the role as I go... and I'm still in Corinth. I have so much I want to write, but like my last Pity Party blog, it would probably be more therapeutic rambling than anything. That'll be part 2. But, nevertheless... I am blessed.

Worst Part of Being Laid Off?

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Knowing I bring a lot to the table that a resume can’t capture. Resumes don’t capture teamwork, ability to learn quickly, fitting in to different cultures and environments or heart. And they sure don’t capture what you’re capable of… they only capture what you’ve done. And therein lies the most frustrating concern. How do you convince a prospective employer that you can do more than you have done? How do you persuade them that you are a rock star when it doesn’t fit on a piece of paper?

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Fearing that my wants and needs are about to get defined for me. We’ve been blessed to have been able to buy some pretty cool things. I wouldn’t consider anything extravagant because we work(ed) hard for what we have… and none of it have we stretched to afford. But as money gets tight, priorities illuminate and the superfluous things we have stand out. Anyone who knows me knows… I love my Camaro. I love most of the things we have and I feel that through some of the blessings we have, I may have become more materialistic than I ever expected. Not consciously… but when I think about where on the pecking order certain things lie, it’s a bit depressing to think what is really expendable. We’ve worked hard for what we have and to see some of those things possibly have to disappear pretty much sucks. Maybe they won’t. But (a) knowing they might hurts and (b) caring they might may hurt even more.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Weekends hold little meaning. TGIF? Why? Saturday feels the same as Tuesday does. Sleeping in a bit later is nice, but I’m not a late sleeper anyway, so I’m normally up around 7am most days anyway. I miss the joy of leaving work on Friday, knowing the weekend is here. Days run together and I’ve caught myself more than once looking at the calendar just to see what day it was. Very little differentiates each day from the next. That kind of sucks.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Fearing I won’t find a job making the money I was before. I’m trying to shift careers by leveraging my background into a new role. This isn’t the best job market obviously and ALSO trying to shift careers in the middle of it? I fear any kind of shift will mean a total reset to my salary. If I have to do that, then I need to determine what factors are most important. Here’s praying that at minimum there’s a middle ground in there somewhere.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Landing an interview only to not get the job. And even deeper than that? Having no idea why. I’ve had a hard time gaining traction and getting many interviews. Each one feels like a demeaning rainbow and I’m just hoping there’s a pot of gold at the end. When that stupid leprechaun hides it, I just want to ask, literally, why? I don’t want some generic, “We felt someone else was a better fit…” kind of answer. I really want to know if there’s something I could have done or said that would have changed the outcome. You never know what those you interview are looking for. What works with one may not with the other. That’s why I hate answering the well-intentioned question, “How’d the interview go?” There’s only one way to judge that answer and that’s with an eventual offer sheet. I’ve had many that went really well and didn’t get the job. I’ve had a few that didn’t feel like they went well and did. You just never know what the decision maker really wants… until you get the email saying, “Thanks but no thanks…” … if you get one at all. The same principle applies to a resume. What one person says you should do is the exact thing someone else says you should change. Job hunting is such a subjective process (obviously) that it’s very easy to get confused on what you should do because there are a million ways to do something right… and apparently two million ways to do them wrong.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I’m letting my wife and family down. I do the best I can at my job for a number of reasons. As a man, the primary reason is to provide for my family. Yes, we are a two-income household, but I believe as a man it’s inherently my responsibility to provide the things we need… and honestly, the things we want. Life is rarely how you expect it to turn out, but I want my wife and daughter to have the things they want. I know we won’t have everything, but forgive me for feeling the luxuries I want us to have is a bad thing. I know in the grand scheme they aren’t priorities, but in a sense, they are to me because I know my family wants them.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Looking and looking and looking at job titles and descriptions so much they all look the same. And considering how few interviews I’ve had, they ooze the same futility. So, at times, yes… the “What’s the use?” poison does creep into my mind… especially when some online apps take nearly 20-30 minutes to complete… AFTER registering! Of the many things I’m looking forward to once this season in life ends is not having to look through these blasted things all day long.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Job descriptions that don’t list salary ranges. Look… I don’t want to waste their time and I sure don’t want to waste mine. Just list the salary range. If it’s not close (high or low) to what I’m looking for, that means fewer resumes to sift through for someone on the other end. I know a lot of that is keyword automated, but still… why waste both our time. And don’t get me started on the apps that require you to list a range but the job posting refuses to. “Commensurate with experience” is a cop-out, by the way.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Everyone asking how the job hunt is going. Don’t get me wrong… I appreciate the concern and would probably hate it more if people didn’t ask… but that’s just one of those questions/issues that gets tired and old to answer because the news never seems to change. Again… no fault to the person asking, but HAVING to answer that question is just a reminder to how much this sucks. But, hey… I’ll take concern over apathy. ;)

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The strain on a marriage. You (I) go through so many emotions, sometimes literally within minutes of each other, that it makes being married to me tough. It’s not fair to Val for her not to know what mood I’ll be in… and then when I’m depressed, it often bleeds onto her mood. That’s just the natural state of marriage: You’re typically only as happy as the least happy person. So, knowing my mood brings her down stinks. I feel guilty for that. But then, when both of us are cranky/stressed, it just begins to snowball. I try to recognize when this happens so that I don’t create a double-whammy as much as possible. But, it’s hard. For anyone laid off, your spouse is/needs to be the best support for you. They must be. But, just putting her in that position just makes me feel sick.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like a loser. Seeing other friends who have it so well, doing so well, who had breaks go their way in their career and then looking at how mine has played out is frustrating. Makes me wonder if there’s no justice… or if I earned all this hardship by not doing something I should/could have. I know the reality is that no one has it as good as it looks from the outside… and that others look at us like I look at someone else… but I feel like I’ve done everything I could have to be successful and I’m not where I want to be. And worse, some of them ARE. Seeing other people do well and me struggle right now hurts. I’m happy for everyone doing well… but it’s just a reminder of what I’m dealing with.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Always feeling guilty when I’m NOT searching for a job. Look, finding a job right now is my number one priority. But, there’s just no way anyone can focus from wake-up/bedtime on the search. It’s maddening enough… and many days, there is nothing different out there from what you saw the day before. I have a process and methodically run through it. Just because it hasn’t worked doesn’t mean it’s a bad one… but I also acknowledge anything that could help, so I’m open to it. But, whether I’m watching the Rangers, playing on Xbox/PS3 or just decompressing, I can never really do it with a clear conscience. Not because I feel I’m cheating my search… but because I always feel I need to do more. But, if I don’t have the break, I’ll go mental.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Right now? Watching the Spurs and Heat in the NBA Finals and wishing both would lose.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Never feeling like this ‘time off’ provides any rest or relaxation. When I was working, there were always times I got burned out. I’d pray for some time off for a break. I haven’t been to the office in four months and not once have I felt mentally rested or relaxed. (Longer if you count the considerable time in the last few years I’ve had to deal with layoff potential.)

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I’m not myself… and then having others confirm that I’m really not. I’ve been through this before. I’ll spare the long story (maybe another post), but having to go through this again was my worst nightmare. But, I don’t have the same spring in my step. I find myself viewing life through very jaded glasses. That’s not me. And if it really is me, then that’s just even more depressing. I like to make jokes, make people laugh and generally just be a fun guy to be around. I’m not that right now. I know it. And others have pointed it out. Sorry.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Watching my wife work hard and knowing she’s bearing a larger burden because I’m unemployed. Putting her in that position sucks. I’m sorry Val.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The feeling of being alone. Val is doing all she can for me. Like anyone, we all have our good and bad days though. We both are dealing with this, but at the end of the day… she can’t hire me. I may not BE alone in this, but there are many times I feel it because I’m the one filling out the applications. I’m the one unemployed. It affects us all obviously, but I’m the one who has to fix it.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling guilty for buying stuff. I can’t justify buying anything that’s not necessary. I want to buy the Harry Potter series for Jordyn, but can’t. I want to get Val a 3DS XL so she can play the new Animal Crossing, but can’t. Those are larger examples… but even just smaller, unnecessary purchases just can’t be made.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The stress. Being laid off is stressful, obviously. Job hunting is stressful. Interviews are too. Everything I’ve mentioned is stressful. Being constantly enveloped by it all creates just a constant stream of stress. It’s unrelenting and vicious and always there.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I shouldn’t feel this way. Feeling like this is all based from a lack of faith in God’s providence. For the first time, I feel like I’m just not faithful. Maybe I’ve known I haven’t been and that this is just the process of it slapping me in the face. This whole process reminds me of Job and the trials he went through (on a much smaller scale obviously.) Look, I’m not trying to overblow my situation. I know in the grand scheme that I have it much better than many/most. But that doesn’t make what I’m going through any less real or easier. I’m trying to keep the proper perspective. I guess I’m spoiled and this is my comeuppance. Who knows? I just know I need to keep praying for faith because I feel in short supply.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Not knowing when it will end.

Parenting Call of Duty

Did you know this existed?

http://www.esrb.org/ratings/ratings_guide.jsp

What about this?

http://www.mpaa.org/ratings/what-each-rating-means

Why does the 2nd look more familiar? Maybe because you go to movies and recognize them?

If you recognize the first, then you play video games. And if you play video games... odds are you are in your 30s. Did you know the average age of a video game purchaser is 35? The average gamer is 30 years old and has been playing for 12 years?

I'll sprinkle some more facts in a bit, but the point is simple and premise is simpler: Video games are not just for kids and video games don't cause violence.

There have been no credible studies to support the notion than video games cause violence. That myth is perpetuated by people who don't know what video games actually are, who plays them or who they are made for. Video games (and violent ones at that) are linked to these atrocities because it's always easier to indict than to understand. Don't just take my word for it... look it up. There are NO causal links. To say the two are connected would fly in the face of highly educated doctors, lawyers, and Supreme Court findings.

I got my first computer when I was about eight years old. Santa brought me a Commodore VIC 20 and a 13" TV/monitor. I played Zork on the thing (for all you old school geeks.) I then played on a Commodore 64. I had friends who had Apple II's.

I then played the original NES. (Was the first person I knew to beat Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and the 2nd person I knew to beat Legend of Zelda.)
Then the Sega Genesis. My eventual wife would always kick my butt at Mortal Kombat.
Then the original Playstation.
Then the Playstation 2.
Then the Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and Wii.

I'm 38 years old. Been playing AT LEAST 30 years.

I've probably shot and killed nearly a million enemies. Some human. Some cyborgs. I've killed Ares, Zeus and every other Greek god. I've saved the world more times than it deserves and have also let alien civilizations die because stood in my way. Recently, I just killed a human trafficking leader in the South Pacific while slipping into a violence-induced haze and eventually came back from a descent into madness. Oh... and I took a flamethrower to a group of pigs. Bacon anyone?!

I've also cut my own finger off to rescue my son from a serial killer targeting children. I've beaten Tiger Woods in golf (who hasn't lately?) I've won 5 consecutive Super Bowls with the Dallas Cowboys. (Call me up Jerry!) And I've killed countless zombies with pea shooting plants, venus fly traps and corn cob shooters.

I've shot nuns in the Wild West. Even set them on fire. Even put one on a train track and watched as the train turned her into a blood puddle just so I could add a new trophy to my PS3 profile. I shot my horse in the head as I was riding it, resulting in my being thrown about 50 yards forward... just to see if I could.

And you know what? I laughed. The game actually let me do that.

And I'm normal... ish. Well, at least I haven't committed mass murder in real life. Phew! Society sure dodged a bullet (pardon the pun) with me, huh?

I find it curious that every time one of these events occur, video games are on the short list of contributing factors.

Let's see... most of these murders involve men squarely in the video game demographic. That only makes sense because that is the wheelhouse demographic for who plays them. That's just like saying most shark attacks happen in the ocean. Well, yeah.... That makes sense.

I won't argue the fact that some people may be prone to greater influence. It's possible that while the games don't cause them to do anything, it might help set a mindset and desensitization to what they see. Which leads me to my next point...

Hey, did you know:

* 47% of all gamers are women?
* Women over the age of 18 comprise 30% of all gamers? Boys under 17 represent 18%
* 68% of all gamers are age 18 or older

Still think it's just a kid thing? If the core demographic for video games are that age... then many developers will gear their material TO that group. Common business sense.

But, let's keep going... if 68% are over 18... that means 32% are under 18. (See what I did there?)

Of that 32%... how many parents are educated enough to guide their kids' purchases? Of that group, how many even know the ESRB exists? Of THAT... how many actually research to find out what their kids want to play?

Folks... it's about parenting. I was in a Gamestop one time and a kid probably nine years old grabbed a Call of Duty game (rated M for violence, language and intensity) and gave it to his mom to buy. She looked at it like he handed her army soldiers from the grocery store and that was that.

The clerk didn't say anything to her about the content. (Should he have?)
She didn't even look at what the game contained.
She rubber stamp-purchased that game for little Johnny to shut him up.

As a parent, would you take your nine year old to see Full Metal Jacket? That's a 2 hour film (give or take) set during the Vietnam era. So, their exposure is fairly limited.
Call of Duty? By industry standards, it's a pretty short campaign at about 7 hours. And that's before any multiplayer exposure. Nearly 4 times the exposure in a video game meant for adults.

Call of Duty is not meant for kids.
Dead Space isn't meant for kids.
God of War isn't.
Battlefield isn't.
Mario Brothers is.

So... is the problem the video game or lack of parenting?

I'd argue lack of parenting results in more shootings than anything else combined.

Will Little Johnny turn out to be a mass murderer? Probably not. But who could argue he shouldn't be head-shotting bad guys and cussing up a storm while playing online?

Did you also know these same games are sold overseas? All over Europe, Japan, Africa... name it. And did you know violent crimes are significantly lower in those markets than they are in America? The link is in the background, mindset and upbringing. Not the video game.

The NRA wants to point to video games as a cause. Heck, the video game industry wants to point to gun ownership as a cause. Neither is right. Guns don't kill people and neither do video games.

Amazing how few people want to point to bad parenting as a cause.

Did you know 90% of the time a game is purchased by someone under 18 that a parent is there?

If your kids play games... research what they are playing and asking for. Get off Pinterest for a second. Turn off the football game. Educate yourselves on what they want and grow a backbone if you don't think it's appropriate for your kid.



http://www.theesa.com/facts/index.asp

Who's Stupid Now?

We are Americans and we have a fascination with stupid.

How else do you explain Honey Boo Boo?

Or Dorito-shell Tacos?

Or Spongebob Squarepants?

Or American Idol?

Or the Democratic Party?

Or thinking guns kill people instead of stupid, deranged and/or evil people?

Or states suing sperm donors to lesbian couples?

Or $10,000 rims on a $1,000 car?

Or having 15 kids out of wedlock and expecting someone 'to be accountable' other than yourself?

Or tucking your boobs into your shirt and going to Wal-Mart? (You know you've seen than pic...)

Or Jack-Ass movies? (I admit, I'm guilty...)

Or how we care about Tom Cruise weirding out on Oprah?

Or how we all assume homeless people are lazy alcoholics instead of maybe, JUST maybe assuming they are down on their luck?

Or how we we now seem to automatically assume the worst in people than the best? (Or maybe the worst in people IS the best?)

Or how a family will struggle to put food on a table, but pay thousands of dollars for season tickets? Or iPads? Or Playstations? Or Golf Memberships? Or Lottery tickets?

Or suing actual states for idiots breaking into schools and shooting children?

Or college professors who believe Sandy Hook is an elaborate hoax to further a political agenda*?

Or how we spend more time playing games, watching tv, playing golf, etc than we do with our families or at church? (That one hurt to write)

Or how many of us walk around in life with a chip on our shoulder, pointing at it, then getting mad when people notice it?

Or how we want to blame our past on our current decisions?

Or how our own laziness has overtaken our desire to work for what we want?
Or how our society has rubber-stamped that that is somehow ok?

Or how we think our kid's accomplishments are an extention of our own parenting ability?

Or how society tolerates anything except for holding firm to your beliefs? (If your beliefs aren't fluid and 'progressive', they aren't tolerable?)

Or how we know more about our favorite sports teams than we do our own jobs? Or Bible? Or spouse?

Or how we think we can treat people with disdain, but expect them to still treat us with respect?

Or how looking out for #1 means pushing down everyone else?

Or how many think if you don't support their cause, you must, by definition, be against it?

Or how Jerry Jones still thinks he can run the Cowboys?
Or how Josh Hamilton thinks the Rangers' fans treated him poorly because he quit on them?

Or how we think when someone you have a generally positive history with does something that hurt us, that's the 'real' them? (See? Assuming the worst in people...)

Or how our stubbornness gets in the way of our friendships?

Or how we can kick the idea of God out of our schools and society and wonder where He is when bad things happen?

Or how we blame God for bad things but don't thank Him for the good ones?

Or how we want to blame mental illness instead of personal decision?

Or how we want to medicate away our problems instead of dealing with them?

Or how we want to coddle our kids instead of empower them?

Or how we want to push social agenda in children's shows?

Or how Nicki Minaj is popular?

Or how we just can't freakin' be happy with what we have?

Or how we think we are always entitled to more? (Just because someone else has it?)

Or how forgiving and forgetting has been replaced by harboring and resenting?

We celebrate stupidity. We revel in dumb.

We really ARE the smartest generation of idiots in collective history.

We have more knowledge, but have less intelligence.

I think maybe my dad had it right a long time ago when I used a calculator on my math homework...

"That thing is gonna make you stupid..."