Would you go back?

Would you go back?


If you could, would you go back to college? High school? Jr High?


Ok, no one would probably go back to Jr. High. That’s just stupid. Three years of perpetual awkwardness on every level. If you’d want to go back there, you’re twisted.


But, when I hear people say all the time that they’d never want to go back to relive high school, college, whatever… I wonder… “Why?”


Maybe I’m strange. (Maybe ‘maybe’ isn’t appropriate there.) But, I would in a heartbeat. I understand when people say they wouldn’t. But, maybe I view that scenario a bit differently. I’m not saying I’d want to go back and relive those times as they were. What I really mean is I’d want to relive those times knowing what I know now. Knowing how to better take advantage of the opportunities I didn’t even realize existed.


I’d want to relive those times with less fear and trepidation. I’d have more confidence. I’d cast my worries to the side and just go for it.


I’d ask some of those girls out I never knew had much interest in me. Heck, I’d ask the ones out who didn’t just to see! I’d have worked harder and concentrated on school. I’d have put forth more effort instead of letting my test-taking ability get me through classes. I’d engage myself more. I’d still try to make people laugh, but I’d employ more foresight. I’d be less a pain in the butt to my teachers and more of a help.


When I say I’d go back, I’m not saying I want a different reality than what I have now. I’m saying I want the reality I have now enhanced by better decision-making. I want what I have now buttressed by the fruits of more insight and wisdom back then. I’m not saying I’m unhappy with the way things are now, although I certainly could have set my career goals up better. I’m saying I enjoyed those times in the past but realize the missed opportunities to make today even greater.


But here comes the rub? Would I really do anything differently?


I know and see the mistakes I made back then, yet I still make some of the same ones now… and I DO know better! What does that say? What does that mean? I’m not really sure. Does it make me a fool? It certainly might. I’d like to think I employ more foresight into my decision-making, but honestly, I may not very often.


It’s an interesting exercise to think about what you might have done differently ‘back in the day’ and then realize you have that same opportunity in the NOW.


I’ve always been a believer in having regrets. Not that we WANT them, but that we HAVE them. And probably SHOULD have them. If you don’t have regrets, either you’ve made perfect decisions along the way where hindsight wouldn’t even matter or you’re fooling yourself to think you (or life) couldn’t be any different/better. If you’re one of those who don’t believe in regrets ‘because my decisions made me who you are today’, then I’d argue you have settled for being less than you could have been. Regrets are meant to be learned from. If you aren’t learning from them, you’re not maturing or growing. I think it was Muhammad Ali who once said if you view the world the same at 50 as you did at 30, you’ve wasted 20 years. (Or something very similar to that. I’m too lazy to do that research at the moment.)


“If I knew then what I know now…”


“Youth is wasted on the young…”


All clichés but very true, powerful ones. They can be depressing ones if you let them. Or they can be empowering ones.


I heard something at my daughter’s 6th grade award ceremony that, while simple, will now go into my lexicon of clichés… “Make an effort, not excuses.”


When you’ve spent so long not really MAKING an effort, it’s tough to start. The easiest thing to ever do is nothing. Trust me. I’ve mastered the art of doing nothing. My wife can confirm this. J


But, I wonder, in 25-30 years, what will I look back on today and wish I knew? Or did I already know and did nothing?