Inspired

As a kid, inspiration was easy to come by. Every experience was brand new and revealed something different about this thing called life.

One of the things I've learned growing up and becoming a 'grown up' is that sense of wonder is much harder to come by. Maybe it's because I've just become de-sensitized to life. The cause could be many things, but regardless of the cause... inspiration in life is much harder to come by unless you're looking for it.

And I think that's the worst part of growing up. We stop looking for inspiration.

We like cute little memes or inspirational quotes because we are so busy and rundown with life's responsibilities we neglect how inspiring life can be. I'm not talking just sunsets and double rainbows, but people. There is no more inspiring thing out there, beyond God, than people.

This is an ugly, ugly world. The older I get the more I see it. Does that mean the goodness is gone? I don't think so... but we've been so conditioned to look at the ugly, we don't recognize beauty anymore.

While I won't go into all the reasons why I'm writing this, I just wanted to recognize some of the inspirational people I know. This by NO means is a full list. Don't get your feelings hurt if you aren't mentioned. That only means I had to cut the cord at some point and hit 'publish' instead of writing a book. And heck, most of the people mentioned below won't even read this anyway.

You never know how the things you do impact people. Most of the time, when you TRY to impact people it falls flat. The best way is to inspire is to just live your life. Other people notice what you say and do... and even just how you smile.

I think we can all learn something from each other, but recently these are some people who have inspired me, one way or another. And to you? Thank you. Not because you're doing something so wild and amazing. But because you've shown me, as Samwise Gamgee put it in The Two Towers, "There is still good in the world... and it's worth fighting for."

Chris Custer - You're a walking inspiration, dude. If there's a single, genuine person I know, it's you. You are always positive, even when things aren't great. You help ME keep perspective on so many levels because, of all the things you've faced growing up and now, you keep a good, Godly attitude.  Your work and enthusiasm with the Special Olympics is fun to follow and humbles me.

Makenzie Allen - Who knew after all these years of 'kinda knowing each other' you'd end up in a blog I'd write. Not exactly an honor, mind you :), but, as well may be a theme throughout all this, your posts are always so dang positive and smile contagious. I have no idea what really is going on with you, but you ALWAYS seem to have a genuine smile and happy/positive things to post. I don't contribute a lot of positivity to the Facebook world. You do. Thanks for that.

Allen McMahan - My uncle. Ok, so it's easy to be inspired by family, but we never really had much of a relationship growing up. You were my dad's brother in California. But, it's been great getting to know you over the last few years. That talk we had the other night about some things in your past, even without many details, was really neat. Few things are as inspiring to me than someone who knows where they've been and are proud and thankful to be moving forward. You get it. You appreciate where you are. I can learn a lot from that.

Andy McMahan - My brother. What a wild freakin' ride you've been on. Of anyone I know, you very well may be the most mentally tough person I know. I'm not sure I'd have survived your life. We are obviously very different (I'm better looking), but your perseverance each time life kicks you in the crotch humbles me. I like to think I'm that strong. Maybe I am. I sure hope to never find out... but I KNOW you are!

Adrian Landin - Man, you are the epitome of actions not words. I talk a good game, but you live it. From your travels to your self-discipline, you are just a guy who makes things happen instead of wishing them to. You LIVE life. I can certainly learn from you, bud.

Jay Lowe - I've met very few people in my life who are what they really appear to be. You've got the beautiful family and star son and yadda yadda. :) But, you really are one of the most encouraging, friendly, real people I've ever met. I really enjoyed the Bible study we did. You've got a wisdom and heart anyone can and SHOULD learn from! Christianity is taking a serious PR hit these days but it's guys like you that give me hope that there are actually Christians who love others.

Heather Reid - I've said it before and I'll say it again... You had a dream to be an author and pursued that come hell or high water (literally these days). Seeing people reach a dream is just cool. 

Chris McCartney - You go hard in the paint like no one else. Wimps like me sit behind a desk and get paid. Guys like you get out and work to the bone for everything you got. Anyone can learn from your work ethic, even when life is tough. 

Dusty Moats - From a fat body just a few years ago to Mr. Olympia now, how can someone NOT be inspired by your journey?! At some point, I pretend I'll be as dedicated as you are. Probably won't ever happen, but keep inspiring dude. It's been fun to watch!

Jennifer Silver-Hudnall/Bryce Hudnall - The work you guys do and the emotional investment you guys make defines inspiration. You open yourselves up in ways that is not only inconveniencing, but heartbreaking at times. It takes a special person to dedicate their lives to actively helping others. 

Cara Griffin - We don't talk a whole lot, but I get most of my info through FB and Val... but with all the crap you've had done to your foot... I'd have had the thing amputated and called it a day! Plus your dedication to working out each day has been fun to follow. I'm trying to motivate myself to get to the gym once... and you've been going strong for a while now, daily. That's pretty cool.

Tony Martinez - Life hasn't always been good to you, yet you don't lose faith. You get down and frustrated, but whereas some people would curse God, you constantly lift Him up. You're a special guy Charmin, and your faith is awe-inspiring.

Brad McMullen - The guy who taught me it's not my turn to talk unless I'm holding the tennis ball and that 'I am 3rd'... It's been fun watching you enjoy your retirement traveling everywhere, doing fun things... just living. You have a fantastic family and it's easy to see why.

Stanley/Anna Burgess - Watching your journey against epilepsy was tough, and then inspiring since the surgery. I'm so happy that issue seems to be gone, but watching the faith through which you handled it all was great. And those three daughters of yours? It's not always fair to say a child is a reflection their parents, but in this case, I think they are. You've got some amazing kids. 

Benny Proffitt - I couldn't have asked for a better youth minister growing up, but even all these years later your First Priority ministry is still going strong. There is just no let up with you. I'm honored to have had you mentor me growing up and consider you one of the major non-family influences in my life... not just because you taught me about Christ, but because you live it and constantly push forward. 

Valerie McMahan - What inspiring list would be complete without the woman who puts up with me and my crap? (Just between you and me, shhhhh, I may not be so easy to live with, yet you signed up for it...) Thank you. You help push ME forward and keep me grounded when necessary. I can only hope to do the same for you.

I could keep going. I wish I could. But, the running theme here is every single person listed (and many more not) are genuine people, flaws and all. We can all learn something from each other. 

Look for those in life who inspire YOU. They may not even be good people, but find something. Don't let yourself get so jaded by life that you let yourself miss out on the joys of it. It can be mundane. Frustrating. Tiresome.

But it can also be inspiring. If you know where to look.

What are you fighting for? And why?

I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut. I really am. Not sure if it’s a lack of self-control (highly probable) or something else, but something must be said.

I could talk all day about the Baltimore idiocy, but maybe another day. No, I’m hitting harder and slightly less obvious than that: Gay Marriage.

There is obviously a split on the issue, and that only makes sense. You have the lefty liberals who think all love is the same, unless it’s the love for an unborn child. You have the righteous righties who don’t really know what they want or believe. Personally, I think most just want whatever they think the public wants and will be conservative elsewhere. At least the liberals are consistent. There are so many factions within the conservative side, you’d have better luck counting the stars on a clear summer’s night. 

It’s not the split that bothers me on the issue. That’s natural. The problem to me is WHERE the unnatural split is… and why.

Many of you aren’t going to like this, and that’s ok. I think as much as anything, I’ve fallen into a trap of watering down my opinions so I seem agreeable. I’m not a fan of pandering. I can’t sit here and gripe that the world is full of wimps who are afraid to speak their mind when I’m not going to… so…

If you’re a Christian and are fighting for gay rights, I think you have a problem.

Kinda abrasive, I know. But, stick with me and see this through.

I’m not perfect. Chances are, if anyone is reading this, you are probably in need of less forgiveness than I. No, this is about understanding the standard of comparison, we as Christians, should adhere to. Not just SHOULD… but MUST adhere to.

Just as you don’t measure your weight with a clock or your strength with how fast you type, you don’t measure Godliness by shifting, progressive societal standards. You don’t measure against what you think should be how things work. You don’t even measure against your own personal experiences. You measure them against God. And He has a very clear standard. It’s called the Bible. (The origins of which may just be a topic of another blog at some point…)

If you are born-again, you have acknowledged you don’t match God’s standard and need His forgiveness for that. There’s obviously more to it, but that concept drives what you believe, who you are and why you believe what you do.

So, if we can agree we aren’t perfect, then that begs the question… Are there LEVELS of imperfection? Simply? No.

If that’s true, then it must mean the sins I commit really, in the grand design of forgiveness and grace, are no different from the sins you commit. Agreed? Good.

So this brings us to the question: What’s the hang up with homosexuality/gay marriage?

The hang up is I’m not trying to justify a lifestyle (didn’t say choice, although that’s another potential topic) that’s against God’s standard. I’m not saying the sins I commit are ok. I’m not trying to rationalize it when I sneak a peek (or more) of late night Cinemax. I know what I’m doing is wrong and I do it anyway. If I lie to my boss that I’m sick today… no amount of societal pressure makes that right.

If you’re using God’s standard, then have to admit homosexual acts are sinful. Notice what I said and didn’t say. I didn’t say homosexual desires are sinful. I don’t know all about the born this way/born that way arguments. I can have that discussion, but that’s honestly fairly irrelevant to my point. I DO know to engage in any activity requires a personal choice to do so.

I know premarital sex is wrong. If I chose to do that, societal norms don’t make that ok. But if you aren’t married and are engaged in sex, you’re sinning. Still with me, even if you don’t like it?

The next point to establish is God created man and woman. A primary intent of marriage, from a Biblical perspective, is for a man and woman to propagate the Earth. It just happens to be that propagation is kinda fun. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok for anyone/everyone. He made it clear sex outside of that arrangement is wrong.

So with those two points made: sex outside marriage is wrong and marriage was created for a man and woman… where does any Christian get the idea that it’s ok in any other situation?

That answer is simple: Society.

Society wants to tell us if it feels good, do it. We don’t like something? Let’s make it ok. There is a higher standard than that, and as a born-again Christian, you’ve said you realize that and chose it. Either you’re going to pick and choose the parts you like or you’re going to believe the whole thing. And if you’re picking and choosing, on what basis are you deciding? Certainly not God’s.

Onto love…

Yes, God loves us all. Equally.

I won’t go so far as to say God WANTS us happy b/c happy is a unique concept. We are created for His purpose. Our lives are not our own. Happiness is something WE want. God loves us but I believe happiness is a construct WE created (and change the criteria at a whim), not God. But that’s not necessarily a Biblical statement as much as an interpretation. Maybe I’m wrong.

But don’t for a second believe that love is love. All love is NOT equal. If love is love, then what stops an adult from marrying a child? An animal? A car? Human laws? Or the inherent understanding that that is just not quite right?

That’s the point. It’s obviously outlandish, but you can’t arbitrarily allocate love and then say it’s all equal. By doing so, you diminish it. And God, in the Bible says, He is love. So, you are therefore diminishing Him.

Next…

Let’s establish a pretty easy concept.

Holiness = Good

Sin = Bad

We ok there?

Good.

You want equality? Understand that all sin is equally bad. It can never be good. It’s not to be justified either. You can’t sweep sin into a new, shiny box and repackage it as good. So why would a Christian fight for the right to do that? Why would a Christian say sin is not a sin? That’s exactly what some are doing…

And sadly, many of the Christians I’ve seen fighting for ‘equal rights’ have never… not once that I can tell… fought for anything to further a Christian worldview. You’re willing to fight for gay rights, but not to further Christian causes? That doesn’t make them bad people… that makes them misguided. They may think they’re doing something good here, but that’s my point (and the problem)… they aren’t.

Now, I know the next argument…

Who are you to judge? God called us to love others, not judge them.

You, my friend (if you are still my friend) are 100% right. And there are many ways to love… one of which is to hold each other accountable. Not to point out how ‘bad you are’… but to help each other know and realize when a brother or sister is falling off the wagon. It can happen so gradually we never even know it happens. We are so afraid of offending others to protect the idea of ‘judgment’ that we are no longer doing our duty. (I said duty… giggle.)

You can love people and disagree with them. If you are still reading this, you’re either nodding your head in agreement or fuming you ever knew me. Again, I’m not going to placate you. It’s time to call things what they are… not based on opinion, but based on Biblical standard.

Again, God calls us to hold each other accountable. I’m not bashing gay people. I don’t hate them. I just don’t agree with their wish validate their lifestyle as something it’s not. Heck, I’ll venture to say, most of the gay people I know are VERY nice, generally moral, good people. (Sadly, moreso than some Christians I know.) It’s not about that. It’s about the standard we must hold ourselves against.

Now… any Christian who brings forth this message hatefully is doing major damage to their namesake. I sincerely, despite being a message you may not like, can acknowledge there is no hatred here. You can’t hate your way into people’s decision making process. You can disagree… even fight against different things, without doing it hatefully. But that doesn’t mean there’s room for compromise. It just means you understand how to love others when you disagree.

Gay people… I am not judging you. Fewer people are than you realize. If you want us to understand you better, then you need to understand us better too. You know, that whole ‘equality’ thing goes both ways… Understand that when something is pointed out as sinful, it’s not sinful to me or someone else… it’s sinful to God. Based on HIS standard. If you want to get mad and immediately retract to the idea that we’re judging you, you don’t understand what judgment really means.

If you want to know what time it is, you look at a clock. Why? Based on the standard of time man has developed, it is 3:43pm right now. It’s not 3:27pm. It’s not 1:42pm. It’s 3:43pm. Why? Because that’s what is says for central STANDARD time. But unlike time, God doesn’t change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That’s not opinion. That is Hebrews 13:8. Society doesn’t affect God’s standard. (Now don’t go throwing Old Testament verses at me thinking you make a snappy point. By doing so, you immediately discredit yourself by showing you don’t understand Old/New Testament context.)

Now…

There’s a 3^rd tendril to my logic… (I should be a preacher…)

We’ve established, Biblically:

·         Sex outside marriage is sin

·         Marriage is meant for a man and woman

·         Sex outside a married man and woman is sin

That’s logic, yo.

ALLLLLLLL this said…

Marriage is a dichotomy of terms. To a Christian, it is a spiritual covenant between God and man. To man, it is a legal contract between two people allowing certain rights.

From THAT perspective, I don’t care if they have that. That bothers me none. If Bill and Joe are a couple and spend their entire lives together, Bill should have a say in Joe’s funeral arrangements. That’s called human decency.

I understand that’s what people say they’re fighting for. But it’s not. What they’re fighting for is the validation that a lifestyle of sin is ok because they love each other. It’s just manifests itself by those contractual privileges. So, to me… the issue to attack isn’t affirming gay marriage. It’s simply cutting the legal red tape that defines a contractual relationship.

Sin is not ok. It’s never been ok. It never will be ok. According to God’s judging, not mine. I will continue to sin and it will continue to not be ok. I can’t make it ok because it makes me feel better thinking it is.

Now, if you don’t want to believe the Bible on all this, that is certainly your choice. But, if you call yourself a Christian and you’re fighting to validate that lifestyle, as the meme goes… you’re doing it wrong.

There are ways to love others without validating their sin.

The Queen James Bible... Yes, it's a thing

A good friend of mine sent me this link recently (http://queenjamesbible.com) and wanted to know my thoughts.

Thoughts were preceded by a number of emotions: Sadness... Anger... Frustration... Contempt... Resignment.

Sadness because this world is free falling into a misguided abyss that is twisting God's Word for its own selfish purpose.
Anger because this world is increasingly accepting false gospel as truth.
Frustration because so many of us Christians let this stuff pass by... or worse, support it.
Contempt for those who are selfish enough to think they can rewrite the inspired Word of God to suit their cause.
Resignment because the slippery slope has created an avalanche of disdain for what Christianity really is... and many Christians unwittingly helped push it along.

If there's any better example to illustrate why I don't support a gay agenda, I haven't seen one. There are so many directions and qualifiers I'd like to get into to set my point up here, but this would turn from a blog to a book.

But the arrogance it takes to think they can change the Bible is astounding. And scary.

The Queen James Bible editors are slick. But, one major flaw is in using the KJV as the gold standard of Biblical interpretation. So, instead of going to the source, they reinterpreted a version of Bible. They looked for ways to twist meaning and words to suit a specific cause. But, they only changed 8 verses. That right there should raise an eyebrow.

They went in with an agenda. If their effort was honest, they'd have gone verse by verse, looking to remove ANY 'ambiguity'... not just homosexual ambiguity. It's like a science experiment. Scientists don't go out to prove a theory or point. They go out to DISprove it. When they can't, they they know they are on to something. If they go in with a specific agenda, the results are tainted in favor of a certain bias, thus invalidating the entire process.

That's what these editors have done. They went in to 'clarify' specific points for their own purpose. Instead of re-translating, they decided to re-interpret... and there's a massive difference between re-translating and re-interpreting.

Twisting the Bible to remove 'homophobic' verses is about as arrogant as I think humanity can get. We don't like something? Change it to fit our needs. If you're going to change it... Just don't believe it at all.

I'll address 'homophobic' in a bit, but Isaiah 5:20-21 says, "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight!"

Galatians 1:6-10 says, "I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse! Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

God's Word is infallible. You can argue all you want about how it was put together by man, yadda yadda yadda... End of the day, if you are a born again Christian, you believe by faith that God's Word is true. Not parts of it. Not the pieces you like. But the whole thing. There is no picking and choosing. That also means you need to know it well enough to understand context of Old vs New Testaments. Or contexts of verses against other verses. Because if you don't, how can you tell when it's being twisted by people who know what they're doing?

I find it ironic people blame the media for taking certain quotes or soundbytes out of context when so many are so willing to do the same (and much worse) with the Bible!

Now to homophobia. Good grief, that may be the term I hate more than any other. A phobia is a fear. People fear spiders. Snakes. Clowns. The closest to homophobia there is might be gay-agendaphobia, because it getting scarier and scarier.

Anti-gay doesn't even cover it because that infers we do not accept or love those people. We do (or should.)

I'll say it as plainly as I can: I love gay people.

But just because you love someone doesn't mean you support everything they do. You wouldn't let your 3yr old child play in a busy street. They think it's ok, but you know better and you love them enough to pull them back in the yard. You don't let your child eat ice cream for breakfast (everyday :) ) because it's unhealthy.

I'm not homophobic. I ain't skeered. I'm not even anti-gay. I love them as people. I've known many. But, as a Christian, I am NOT willing to classify their world-view as Biblically acceptable.

You see, there's a reason I (and most Christians) don't support a gay agenda and it has nothing to do with hate. Sure, there are some people out there who DO hate gay people, which I think is sad. But, saying all Christians hate gay people is like saying all white people are racist. That's just not the case, but makes for a good headline.

To support something means to endorse it. As Christians, supporting a gay agenda equates to endorsing it. And if we are to follow the Bible, we simply can not do that.

Somewhere along the way, people who aren't Christians have decided how Christians should think and behave. Non-Christians have decided to redefine 'love' to meet their needs. To Christians, by definition, God IS love. So, how can a non-Christian have any idea what love truly means to a Christian?

What the secular world wants to hear is it is ok to sin. Actually, what they WANT to hear is sin ISN'T sin.

If you don't believe in the Bible, then that's a completely different argument and there's no common ground here because we aren't even discussing from the same perspective. I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything here since I'm not even discussing my own thoughts on homosexuality at length.

But the agenda they are force-feeding society is dangerous.

Dangerous how? Well, for one, they have gotten powerful enough to try to change the Bible. And some people are clearly letting them. That's pretty dang bold, if you ask me.

I heard a quote long ago that has proven true in every instance I've tried applying it: What one generation tolerates, the next embraces. Isn't it time we start tolerating a true view of what Christianity is supposed to be?

I'm not saying gays are bad people. We are ALL bad people. From a moral perspective, I've known some gays who were nicer and had more integrity than some Christians I know. But, let's be clear... being good means very little. By any definition, no one is good enough to get themselves into Heaven. Not one.

Sin is sin. Lying is wrong. Murder is wrong. Cheating on your taxes is wrong. Adultery is wrong. Getting drunk is wrong. Stealing paper from your office is wrong. Refusing to help the poor is wrong. Smoking crack is wrong. Watching porn is wrong. Homosexuality is wrong.

The difference between all these? Homosexuality is the only one that is trying to define itself as normal and ok. Trying to convince us it's not wrong.

I'm not getting deep into the 'choice debate.' I DO know it's a choice to engage in homosexual acts. I know there are MANY gay Christians who have chosen a life of celibacy over having gay sex. Just as I know there are many Christians who do not/did not have sex until they were married. Heck, I am one of them. (No sex before marriage... not the gay sex part. :) )

But letting sin redefine our concepts of right and wrong is evil and twisted. And just because the majority think something is ok doesn't make it so.

The danger in a gay agenda is this: Supporters want to remove the idea that homosexuality is not wrong. By preaching 'equality, acceptance, etc' they want a world view that looks past their choices.

But it doesn't stop there. It can't. You can't stop an avalanche. It can only stop itself once it's done all the damage it's going to do.

The gay agenda wants a world where twisting the Bible to remove 'homophobic' verses affirms their world view. That's what is so scary. This Queen James Bible wants us to somehow connect the fact that King James I was bisexual... and since the King James Bible was written from his command, that that somehow means homosexuality is ok? What sense does that connection make??

What is painful is how moral relativism has now trumped Godly truth. There is no ambiguity. Concealing the truth (by changing the words) doesn't change the truth. All it does is hide it from those seeking it. And as the verses I mention above outline, there's a price to pay for that.

The Queen James Bible isn't really the problem. It's a symptom of a much larger one. An insidious coup to turn upon its head the very ideal Christianity is built on. Love. Knowing we are sinful. Accepting that we need help. If you're willing to deny something as sin, how can Christ forgive it?

That's the danger, folks.

Employment Wish List

Here I am, sitting in Jacksonville, Florida in my hotel room ending the second Monday of my new job. Virginia Slims ain't got nuthin' on me. I've come a long way baby. Instead of boring you with what my role is (I'm still trying to fully understand), I'll start this two part blog and give you my unrealistic wishlist in a bad economy after I was laid off back in February: 1) Change careers - I've been laid off from group benefits underwriting three times. I wanted out of that industry. Changing careers is hard enough. Doing it in a bad economy is ridiculously hard. I didn't mind staying in the insurance industry, although I sure wouldn't mind getting OUT of it either. I remember reading multiple articles about dying industries, and benefits underwriting was in both. Not good for job prospects. 2) Work from home - At MetLife, I worked really hard and excelled from the moment I got there. Within that, I was afforded some perks that I'd never had before. I was assigned to some high profile projects and flourished most of the time I was there. The best perk? Working from home. Not only did I save lots on gas, there's lot of freedom in waking up and booting up the laptop, never getting out of my Disney shirt and underwear all day. (How's THAT visual??) So, going into my next job, I really, REALLY wanted to work from home. Mainly because of the gas thing. I spent nearly $5k on gas/tolls in a year working at my previous job. Plus the lost time in traffic. Once I had the taste of working from home, it killed me each day to make that drive... much less wear actual work clothes. 3) More Money - Let's face it. We are not altruistic workers. We don't even work for companies. We work for our families and ourselves. Companies benefit too, so they pay us. But, unless you own the company... your loyalty lies to your family. Therefore, we all want to make as much as we can. Because I'm human, I wanted more. 4) No more production - This is closely related to my first point, but part of underwriting, unfortunately, is that it's a production-based job. How many quotes did you do? What was your turn-around-time? What's your closing ratio? It became a job where I was just a human conveyor belt. Instead of producing widgets and cogs, I was producing quotes. The reason I've loved the project work I've been on is because it allowed me to exit that reality and bring something to the table no one else could: myself. I wanted that again. I wanted to feel important beyond how many cogs could I pump out a day. 5) No relocation - In the back of my mind, I feared the possibility of having to move to attain any one of these goals. During my job search, I saw plenty of jobs... but just couldn't get a bite in the area. It had me wondering if I'd have to consider moving... Austin? Houston? Out of state? I didn't want to, but I prepared myself for the potential. So... what did I end up with? I am no longer underwriting, but still in insurance. Working from home for more money in a job that allows me the freedom to create the role as I go... and I'm still in Corinth. I have so much I want to write, but like my last Pity Party blog, it would probably be more therapeutic rambling than anything. That'll be part 2. But, nevertheless... I am blessed.

Worst Part of Being Laid Off?

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Knowing I bring a lot to the table that a resume can’t capture. Resumes don’t capture teamwork, ability to learn quickly, fitting in to different cultures and environments or heart. And they sure don’t capture what you’re capable of… they only capture what you’ve done. And therein lies the most frustrating concern. How do you convince a prospective employer that you can do more than you have done? How do you persuade them that you are a rock star when it doesn’t fit on a piece of paper?

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Fearing that my wants and needs are about to get defined for me. We’ve been blessed to have been able to buy some pretty cool things. I wouldn’t consider anything extravagant because we work(ed) hard for what we have… and none of it have we stretched to afford. But as money gets tight, priorities illuminate and the superfluous things we have stand out. Anyone who knows me knows… I love my Camaro. I love most of the things we have and I feel that through some of the blessings we have, I may have become more materialistic than I ever expected. Not consciously… but when I think about where on the pecking order certain things lie, it’s a bit depressing to think what is really expendable. We’ve worked hard for what we have and to see some of those things possibly have to disappear pretty much sucks. Maybe they won’t. But (a) knowing they might hurts and (b) caring they might may hurt even more.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Weekends hold little meaning. TGIF? Why? Saturday feels the same as Tuesday does. Sleeping in a bit later is nice, but I’m not a late sleeper anyway, so I’m normally up around 7am most days anyway. I miss the joy of leaving work on Friday, knowing the weekend is here. Days run together and I’ve caught myself more than once looking at the calendar just to see what day it was. Very little differentiates each day from the next. That kind of sucks.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Fearing I won’t find a job making the money I was before. I’m trying to shift careers by leveraging my background into a new role. This isn’t the best job market obviously and ALSO trying to shift careers in the middle of it? I fear any kind of shift will mean a total reset to my salary. If I have to do that, then I need to determine what factors are most important. Here’s praying that at minimum there’s a middle ground in there somewhere.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Landing an interview only to not get the job. And even deeper than that? Having no idea why. I’ve had a hard time gaining traction and getting many interviews. Each one feels like a demeaning rainbow and I’m just hoping there’s a pot of gold at the end. When that stupid leprechaun hides it, I just want to ask, literally, why? I don’t want some generic, “We felt someone else was a better fit…” kind of answer. I really want to know if there’s something I could have done or said that would have changed the outcome. You never know what those you interview are looking for. What works with one may not with the other. That’s why I hate answering the well-intentioned question, “How’d the interview go?” There’s only one way to judge that answer and that’s with an eventual offer sheet. I’ve had many that went really well and didn’t get the job. I’ve had a few that didn’t feel like they went well and did. You just never know what the decision maker really wants… until you get the email saying, “Thanks but no thanks…” … if you get one at all. The same principle applies to a resume. What one person says you should do is the exact thing someone else says you should change. Job hunting is such a subjective process (obviously) that it’s very easy to get confused on what you should do because there are a million ways to do something right… and apparently two million ways to do them wrong.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I’m letting my wife and family down. I do the best I can at my job for a number of reasons. As a man, the primary reason is to provide for my family. Yes, we are a two-income household, but I believe as a man it’s inherently my responsibility to provide the things we need… and honestly, the things we want. Life is rarely how you expect it to turn out, but I want my wife and daughter to have the things they want. I know we won’t have everything, but forgive me for feeling the luxuries I want us to have is a bad thing. I know in the grand scheme they aren’t priorities, but in a sense, they are to me because I know my family wants them.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Looking and looking and looking at job titles and descriptions so much they all look the same. And considering how few interviews I’ve had, they ooze the same futility. So, at times, yes… the “What’s the use?” poison does creep into my mind… especially when some online apps take nearly 20-30 minutes to complete… AFTER registering! Of the many things I’m looking forward to once this season in life ends is not having to look through these blasted things all day long.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Job descriptions that don’t list salary ranges. Look… I don’t want to waste their time and I sure don’t want to waste mine. Just list the salary range. If it’s not close (high or low) to what I’m looking for, that means fewer resumes to sift through for someone on the other end. I know a lot of that is keyword automated, but still… why waste both our time. And don’t get me started on the apps that require you to list a range but the job posting refuses to. “Commensurate with experience” is a cop-out, by the way.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Everyone asking how the job hunt is going. Don’t get me wrong… I appreciate the concern and would probably hate it more if people didn’t ask… but that’s just one of those questions/issues that gets tired and old to answer because the news never seems to change. Again… no fault to the person asking, but HAVING to answer that question is just a reminder to how much this sucks. But, hey… I’ll take concern over apathy. ;)

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The strain on a marriage. You (I) go through so many emotions, sometimes literally within minutes of each other, that it makes being married to me tough. It’s not fair to Val for her not to know what mood I’ll be in… and then when I’m depressed, it often bleeds onto her mood. That’s just the natural state of marriage: You’re typically only as happy as the least happy person. So, knowing my mood brings her down stinks. I feel guilty for that. But then, when both of us are cranky/stressed, it just begins to snowball. I try to recognize when this happens so that I don’t create a double-whammy as much as possible. But, it’s hard. For anyone laid off, your spouse is/needs to be the best support for you. They must be. But, just putting her in that position just makes me feel sick.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like a loser. Seeing other friends who have it so well, doing so well, who had breaks go their way in their career and then looking at how mine has played out is frustrating. Makes me wonder if there’s no justice… or if I earned all this hardship by not doing something I should/could have. I know the reality is that no one has it as good as it looks from the outside… and that others look at us like I look at someone else… but I feel like I’ve done everything I could have to be successful and I’m not where I want to be. And worse, some of them ARE. Seeing other people do well and me struggle right now hurts. I’m happy for everyone doing well… but it’s just a reminder of what I’m dealing with.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Always feeling guilty when I’m NOT searching for a job. Look, finding a job right now is my number one priority. But, there’s just no way anyone can focus from wake-up/bedtime on the search. It’s maddening enough… and many days, there is nothing different out there from what you saw the day before. I have a process and methodically run through it. Just because it hasn’t worked doesn’t mean it’s a bad one… but I also acknowledge anything that could help, so I’m open to it. But, whether I’m watching the Rangers, playing on Xbox/PS3 or just decompressing, I can never really do it with a clear conscience. Not because I feel I’m cheating my search… but because I always feel I need to do more. But, if I don’t have the break, I’ll go mental.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Right now? Watching the Spurs and Heat in the NBA Finals and wishing both would lose.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Never feeling like this ‘time off’ provides any rest or relaxation. When I was working, there were always times I got burned out. I’d pray for some time off for a break. I haven’t been to the office in four months and not once have I felt mentally rested or relaxed. (Longer if you count the considerable time in the last few years I’ve had to deal with layoff potential.)

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I’m not myself… and then having others confirm that I’m really not. I’ve been through this before. I’ll spare the long story (maybe another post), but having to go through this again was my worst nightmare. But, I don’t have the same spring in my step. I find myself viewing life through very jaded glasses. That’s not me. And if it really is me, then that’s just even more depressing. I like to make jokes, make people laugh and generally just be a fun guy to be around. I’m not that right now. I know it. And others have pointed it out. Sorry.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Watching my wife work hard and knowing she’s bearing a larger burden because I’m unemployed. Putting her in that position sucks. I’m sorry Val.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The feeling of being alone. Val is doing all she can for me. Like anyone, we all have our good and bad days though. We both are dealing with this, but at the end of the day… she can’t hire me. I may not BE alone in this, but there are many times I feel it because I’m the one filling out the applications. I’m the one unemployed. It affects us all obviously, but I’m the one who has to fix it.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling guilty for buying stuff. I can’t justify buying anything that’s not necessary. I want to buy the Harry Potter series for Jordyn, but can’t. I want to get Val a 3DS XL so she can play the new Animal Crossing, but can’t. Those are larger examples… but even just smaller, unnecessary purchases just can’t be made.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

The stress. Being laid off is stressful, obviously. Job hunting is stressful. Interviews are too. Everything I’ve mentioned is stressful. Being constantly enveloped by it all creates just a constant stream of stress. It’s unrelenting and vicious and always there.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Feeling like I shouldn’t feel this way. Feeling like this is all based from a lack of faith in God’s providence. For the first time, I feel like I’m just not faithful. Maybe I’ve known I haven’t been and that this is just the process of it slapping me in the face. This whole process reminds me of Job and the trials he went through (on a much smaller scale obviously.) Look, I’m not trying to overblow my situation. I know in the grand scheme that I have it much better than many/most. But that doesn’t make what I’m going through any less real or easier. I’m trying to keep the proper perspective. I guess I’m spoiled and this is my comeuppance. Who knows? I just know I need to keep praying for faith because I feel in short supply.

Want to know the worst part of being laid off?

Not knowing when it will end.

Parenting Call of Duty

Did you know this existed?

http://www.esrb.org/ratings/ratings_guide.jsp

What about this?

http://www.mpaa.org/ratings/what-each-rating-means

Why does the 2nd look more familiar? Maybe because you go to movies and recognize them?

If you recognize the first, then you play video games. And if you play video games... odds are you are in your 30s. Did you know the average age of a video game purchaser is 35? The average gamer is 30 years old and has been playing for 12 years?

I'll sprinkle some more facts in a bit, but the point is simple and premise is simpler: Video games are not just for kids and video games don't cause violence.

There have been no credible studies to support the notion than video games cause violence. That myth is perpetuated by people who don't know what video games actually are, who plays them or who they are made for. Video games (and violent ones at that) are linked to these atrocities because it's always easier to indict than to understand. Don't just take my word for it... look it up. There are NO causal links. To say the two are connected would fly in the face of highly educated doctors, lawyers, and Supreme Court findings.

I got my first computer when I was about eight years old. Santa brought me a Commodore VIC 20 and a 13" TV/monitor. I played Zork on the thing (for all you old school geeks.) I then played on a Commodore 64. I had friends who had Apple II's.

I then played the original NES. (Was the first person I knew to beat Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and the 2nd person I knew to beat Legend of Zelda.)
Then the Sega Genesis. My eventual wife would always kick my butt at Mortal Kombat.
Then the original Playstation.
Then the Playstation 2.
Then the Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and Wii.

I'm 38 years old. Been playing AT LEAST 30 years.

I've probably shot and killed nearly a million enemies. Some human. Some cyborgs. I've killed Ares, Zeus and every other Greek god. I've saved the world more times than it deserves and have also let alien civilizations die because stood in my way. Recently, I just killed a human trafficking leader in the South Pacific while slipping into a violence-induced haze and eventually came back from a descent into madness. Oh... and I took a flamethrower to a group of pigs. Bacon anyone?!

I've also cut my own finger off to rescue my son from a serial killer targeting children. I've beaten Tiger Woods in golf (who hasn't lately?) I've won 5 consecutive Super Bowls with the Dallas Cowboys. (Call me up Jerry!) And I've killed countless zombies with pea shooting plants, venus fly traps and corn cob shooters.

I've shot nuns in the Wild West. Even set them on fire. Even put one on a train track and watched as the train turned her into a blood puddle just so I could add a new trophy to my PS3 profile. I shot my horse in the head as I was riding it, resulting in my being thrown about 50 yards forward... just to see if I could.

And you know what? I laughed. The game actually let me do that.

And I'm normal... ish. Well, at least I haven't committed mass murder in real life. Phew! Society sure dodged a bullet (pardon the pun) with me, huh?

I find it curious that every time one of these events occur, video games are on the short list of contributing factors.

Let's see... most of these murders involve men squarely in the video game demographic. That only makes sense because that is the wheelhouse demographic for who plays them. That's just like saying most shark attacks happen in the ocean. Well, yeah.... That makes sense.

I won't argue the fact that some people may be prone to greater influence. It's possible that while the games don't cause them to do anything, it might help set a mindset and desensitization to what they see. Which leads me to my next point...

Hey, did you know:

* 47% of all gamers are women?
* Women over the age of 18 comprise 30% of all gamers? Boys under 17 represent 18%
* 68% of all gamers are age 18 or older

Still think it's just a kid thing? If the core demographic for video games are that age... then many developers will gear their material TO that group. Common business sense.

But, let's keep going... if 68% are over 18... that means 32% are under 18. (See what I did there?)

Of that 32%... how many parents are educated enough to guide their kids' purchases? Of that group, how many even know the ESRB exists? Of THAT... how many actually research to find out what their kids want to play?

Folks... it's about parenting. I was in a Gamestop one time and a kid probably nine years old grabbed a Call of Duty game (rated M for violence, language and intensity) and gave it to his mom to buy. She looked at it like he handed her army soldiers from the grocery store and that was that.

The clerk didn't say anything to her about the content. (Should he have?)
She didn't even look at what the game contained.
She rubber stamp-purchased that game for little Johnny to shut him up.

As a parent, would you take your nine year old to see Full Metal Jacket? That's a 2 hour film (give or take) set during the Vietnam era. So, their exposure is fairly limited.
Call of Duty? By industry standards, it's a pretty short campaign at about 7 hours. And that's before any multiplayer exposure. Nearly 4 times the exposure in a video game meant for adults.

Call of Duty is not meant for kids.
Dead Space isn't meant for kids.
God of War isn't.
Battlefield isn't.
Mario Brothers is.

So... is the problem the video game or lack of parenting?

I'd argue lack of parenting results in more shootings than anything else combined.

Will Little Johnny turn out to be a mass murderer? Probably not. But who could argue he shouldn't be head-shotting bad guys and cussing up a storm while playing online?

Did you also know these same games are sold overseas? All over Europe, Japan, Africa... name it. And did you know violent crimes are significantly lower in those markets than they are in America? The link is in the background, mindset and upbringing. Not the video game.

The NRA wants to point to video games as a cause. Heck, the video game industry wants to point to gun ownership as a cause. Neither is right. Guns don't kill people and neither do video games.

Amazing how few people want to point to bad parenting as a cause.

Did you know 90% of the time a game is purchased by someone under 18 that a parent is there?

If your kids play games... research what they are playing and asking for. Get off Pinterest for a second. Turn off the football game. Educate yourselves on what they want and grow a backbone if you don't think it's appropriate for your kid.



http://www.theesa.com/facts/index.asp

Who's Stupid Now?

We are Americans and we have a fascination with stupid.

How else do you explain Honey Boo Boo?

Or Dorito-shell Tacos?

Or Spongebob Squarepants?

Or American Idol?

Or the Democratic Party?

Or thinking guns kill people instead of stupid, deranged and/or evil people?

Or states suing sperm donors to lesbian couples?

Or $10,000 rims on a $1,000 car?

Or having 15 kids out of wedlock and expecting someone 'to be accountable' other than yourself?

Or tucking your boobs into your shirt and going to Wal-Mart? (You know you've seen than pic...)

Or Jack-Ass movies? (I admit, I'm guilty...)

Or how we care about Tom Cruise weirding out on Oprah?

Or how we all assume homeless people are lazy alcoholics instead of maybe, JUST maybe assuming they are down on their luck?

Or how we we now seem to automatically assume the worst in people than the best? (Or maybe the worst in people IS the best?)

Or how a family will struggle to put food on a table, but pay thousands of dollars for season tickets? Or iPads? Or Playstations? Or Golf Memberships? Or Lottery tickets?

Or suing actual states for idiots breaking into schools and shooting children?

Or college professors who believe Sandy Hook is an elaborate hoax to further a political agenda*?

Or how we spend more time playing games, watching tv, playing golf, etc than we do with our families or at church? (That one hurt to write)

Or how many of us walk around in life with a chip on our shoulder, pointing at it, then getting mad when people notice it?

Or how we want to blame our past on our current decisions?

Or how our own laziness has overtaken our desire to work for what we want?
Or how our society has rubber-stamped that that is somehow ok?

Or how we think our kid's accomplishments are an extention of our own parenting ability?

Or how society tolerates anything except for holding firm to your beliefs? (If your beliefs aren't fluid and 'progressive', they aren't tolerable?)

Or how we know more about our favorite sports teams than we do our own jobs? Or Bible? Or spouse?

Or how we think we can treat people with disdain, but expect them to still treat us with respect?

Or how looking out for #1 means pushing down everyone else?

Or how many think if you don't support their cause, you must, by definition, be against it?

Or how Jerry Jones still thinks he can run the Cowboys?
Or how Josh Hamilton thinks the Rangers' fans treated him poorly because he quit on them?

Or how we think when someone you have a generally positive history with does something that hurt us, that's the 'real' them? (See? Assuming the worst in people...)

Or how our stubbornness gets in the way of our friendships?

Or how we can kick the idea of God out of our schools and society and wonder where He is when bad things happen?

Or how we blame God for bad things but don't thank Him for the good ones?

Or how we want to blame mental illness instead of personal decision?

Or how we want to medicate away our problems instead of dealing with them?

Or how we want to coddle our kids instead of empower them?

Or how we want to push social agenda in children's shows?

Or how Nicki Minaj is popular?

Or how we just can't freakin' be happy with what we have?

Or how we think we are always entitled to more? (Just because someone else has it?)

Or how forgiving and forgetting has been replaced by harboring and resenting?

We celebrate stupidity. We revel in dumb.

We really ARE the smartest generation of idiots in collective history.

We have more knowledge, but have less intelligence.

I think maybe my dad had it right a long time ago when I used a calculator on my math homework...

"That thing is gonna make you stupid..."