Blue Pill, Red Pill... What Is Fake and What Is Real?

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” – Thomas Jefferson

Occasionally you encounter wisdom that just strikes at your core, and this one did.

Life is a journey we all experience at our own pace but at the same speed. It presses forward with or without our approval. And part of that journey is discovering who we are and comparing it against who we were and who we want to be.

If hindsight is 20/20, it’s easy to tell who we were. We can clearly look back and assign ourselves a grade on who we used to be. Sometimes it’s depressing to do that, one way or another. You can either be sad you weren’t better… or you can be sad you USED to be better. Or, for these same reasons, this can be pleasant. But, looking back is easy.

It’s even easier to imagine who we want to be because we get to make up whatever perfection we can and pretend that will be us one day. We can envision the best attributes of ourselves at their peak performance and how that can create a utopian self. This process balls up all our best intentions and brings them to fruition. Where can you be in 5 years? Well, after a better diet, consistent gym time, more time serving others, etc… this fabricated future self is as easy to imagine as what we might do if we won the lottery. It can be kinda fun too. But, deep down, we realize it’s unlikely, especially if we aren’t taking steps to get us there. But best case scenarios and good intentions create the future us we love to think about!

The hard part is, in the moment, figuring out who you ARE. This is where our flaws smack us in the face like a door too heavy to stop. Today is where we pay for the regrets of our past. In some cases, it’s where the fruits of our efforts are already tasting sweet. But today is fleeting. Our present is immediately our past. We are beings of an ever dwindling future and ever growing past. The present just doesn’t last.

We WANT to be one thing. We used to be another. But, where in the timeline of our lives do we fall today, right now?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” The running joke is that most adults are still asking themselves that at age 40, 45, 50 and beyond. But, it’s a joke born from truth. Most of us don’t know. We’re scrambling through life hoping to make it through the best we can. We react to life. But don’t really know how to make it what we want because we don’t know how to make US what we want.

And we don’t know how to do that because often, we are searching for who we really are at any given moment. It’s elusive. What happens later today can fundamentally alter who we’ll be tomorrow, so how do you nail down the person you are currently?

Thomas Jefferson was a wise man. Read those words again.

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”

In much less wise ‘Sammy-speak’… We are what we do.

I’m purposely keeping a faith-centric angle out of this because that changes (and often enhances) the dynamic I’m talking about. It most definitely comes into play, but only to the extent you believe in it. If you don’t, this journey and Jefferson-wisdom still rings true.

We are what we do.

Wanna know who you are? What do your actions say? Not your words. Words are intentions. Words are empty. Words reflect what we think. Words may reflect what’s in our hearts. But words don’t get things done. Sometimes action stems from speaking it first… but without action, words just occupy the air, polluting our hopes of what we wish vs what we are.

Do you consider yourself a caring person? What recent actions demonstrate that? Or was that all in the past?

Do you consider yourself a faithful person? How have you helped anyone else lately?

Do you think you’re a person of integrity? Are you willing to show someone your browser history?

When you’re searching for who you are… and we all do that from time to time… the first place to look is what do your actions say? Sometimes that can be a painful realization. Sometimes it can validate what we hope. But it’s essential to self-awareness. If you’re unwilling to examine yourself at this level,  you’re unwilling to know yourself. You’re content to play pretend. It’s The Matrix. Are you willing to take the red pill to learn the truth? Or are you satisfied with what is fake, letting the blue pill keep you in oblivion?

Self-awareness can be tough. It’s certainly not for the faint of heart, as it forces you away from the ‘ignorance is bliss’ dynamic of life. It’s certainly simpler to live in a blue-pill world.

But at our core, I think we ALL come to a point where we’re compelled to take that red pill and examine who we are. It can be uncomfortable. Or it can validate what we’d hoped.

Ultimately, our actions define us. We control our future by our current actions. But, in this slice of time, you are what you are doing. Or not doing.

I love to read. Or better put, I love to accumulate books that interest me that I tell myself I’m going to read but rarely do.

I intend to read them. I want to read them. Heck, I spent money because I think the growing library (not an exaggeration) will benefit me somehow. But, at the end of the day, if I’m not reading them... do I really love to read? Or did I just used to?

What I’m interested in doing is a far cry from what I AM doing.

If you’re reading this and are in the process of self-search, start there and work outward. The process of changing our actions is an entirely different topic. One probably meant for someone else to write… at least at the moment.

Define yourself by your actions, not your intentions.

As I tell my daughter when I tell her to clean her room and she says, “I will...” or “I am…”

Don’t tell me what you’re doing. Show me what you’ve done.

Everything else is just words.